Dear Mr Malema
I've always maintained that you are a great, misunderstood entertainer. I'm so glad that you have cleared that up. Too many people take you for a serious politician and some misguided souls even think that you are a statesman.
Your Michael Jackson allusion is remarkably on song.
Like Michael, your crotch grabbing (you told parliamentarians that you have them by the scrotum), shrieks and yelps, have kept us entranced.
“I'm not a regional leader. I'm international. I can walk into any country, you'll think Michael Jackson, the showstopper has arrived in the whole continent. So, you're telling me about Limpopo, what, what. What's that you want to reduce me to (Mogoboya Nelson) Ramodike and (King Patrick Ramaano) Mphephu,” he said. (Daily Sun)
People of Limpopo and Gauteng will be pleased to know that you don't care about them. Of course, you meant that you care about South Africa as a whole, but those with white tendencies and with nonsense in their pants (to quote one of your more profound utterances), will seize on that and blow it right out of context. Just as they did when you reportedly said that you would kill for Zuma. Meaning, of course, that you would die for him. Any sensible person would have made that deduction. I often use those words interchangeably myself. So do many other people. They are, after all, so similar in pronunciation and meaning.
As a matter of interest, would you still, in the words of the love song, catch a grenade for him? Or just stick to having Earl Grey and Romany Creams with him?
I read about these continent-shaking revelations in the Daily Sun. As they have been hunting zombies and tokoloshes with untiring zeal for many years, I find their reporting very credible. I am satisfied that there could be no bloody agent influences here.
With voting done and you perhaps left with not too much to do, it could well be the time to kick off that African dance tour. Followed, naturally, by a world tour. Your adoring fans must be in a fever of impatience and expectation.
I am ready to assist (at discounted tender rates) and will be delighted to see the back of you. I mean, of course, as you moonwalk off into the African dusk. That's all I mean.
I suggest that you kick off with 'Black or White'.
Yours in the struggle for quality entertainment.
Richard
Tips for the blogger gratefully accepted
Tymebank , South Africa
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O Tichmann
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