Double Up With Laughter

 'Dear Mr Malema' joins 'Dear Mr Zuma' on the Kindle bookshelf.

See South Africa through a different lens. If you've been wondering whether to laugh or cry, buy this pair from Kindle and you can do both. Double up and shed tears of laughter.  

'Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand', said Mark Twain. Our happy couple have been taken too seriously for far too long. Join in the assault. It's time South Africa (and the rest of the world) laughed the second-hand comedians to scorn.

Your turn to 'heh, heh, heh'.

Postscript: Also now joined by:

Dear Fellow South Africans 

South Africa: Stranger Than Fiction 

https://t.co/UaPkJKoTQu

Tea And Sympathy

 Dear Mr Zuma

I'm so glad that you are open for tea again. We've passed through the phases of kill - for - Zuma, die - for - Zuma, (was there a kill - Zuma phase?), to the have - tea - with - Zuma phase. Isn't it time old penpals like you and I also had a natter over some Earl Grey?

I'm a little short on helicopters right now, so I'd appreciate your sending me one of those location things. May I bring Judge Zondo and a copy of the constitution? Now that we seem to be in a season of fence-mending and goodwill to all men of peace.

We have much to discuss: the myth of state capture, the theology of ANC membership, theology in general (your inspired take on the Second Coming), the political significance of tea in healing old enmities and so much more. Perhaps you could unravel the mystery of your slight distancing from the commission you yourself appointed. I am also curious about and inspired by your insistence that your friend not adjudicate in your matter. Such rectitude. Nemo judex in sua cosa, surely? I would have been delighted to have a buddy on the bench. You, Sir, are made of sterner moral stuff. A sort of ethical optic fibre.

Yes, Sir, of cabbages and kings we could chat all day. I have no objection to a platter of freshly boiled inKhaaandla ox tripe with tea.

Sir, I will certainly bring a good supply of sympathy, if you will be kind enough to supply the brew.

Yours in the love of tea and sympathy.

Richard 

 

State Of The Nation

 Dear Mr President 

Your state of the nation address, delivered last night, was positive and inspiring.

As I write this congratulatory letter, I and half the nation are polishing the pavement outside the local labour office with our rapidly stiffening backsides. I sit directly opposite a traffic light that seems to be red each time I look up. I wonder if that signifies something. 

Sir, I am still puzzled as to why we must spend an entire day, (if we are that lucky), waiting to sign a document. And that in the midst of a raging pandemic. 

You boldly stated that there will be no more messing up. Have you seen the queues, Sir? A mess would be a pretty good description.

In this season of doing things differently and more efficiently, please ensure that all departments get the memo. I can think of half a dozen ways this can be done better. And I'm not even being paid for it. Your people do know, Sir, that this is the age of the Android, AI, the Mars Rover...? How long do we remain stuck in the age of bum - swept pavements? Sir, I suggest as long as bums are put to greater use than brains in the glorious civil service. That memo also needs to go out. As well as the one on service and compassion. Else Sir, it's time some memos went out welcoming various highly - paid seat polishers to the joys of retirement. Perhaps they could join us in the queues.

Oh, of course a day like this would not be complete without a power failure. That too, came to pass.

Yours in the hope that springs eternal.

Richard