Dear Mr Zuma
I don't understand the huffing, puffing, to-ing and fro-ing over your latest court appearance saga. It's quite obvious where the problem lies, isnt it?
The link between the proximity of courtrooms and your bouts of illness needs to be carefully investigated. It may be to do with the structures. We've heard of the sick buildings concept.
On the other hand, perhaps the word 'courtroom' itself, is what sets you off.. You think this ridiculous? Words have power. A hypnotist can cause murder to be committed with a trigger-word. The word 'war' lands people in a Russian gaol for fifteen years. In South Africa, people are driven into paroxyisms of rage or transports of ecstacy by quite commonplace words and phrases such as 'step aside', "corruption', 'tender', 'judiciary', 'constitution', 'rule of law', 'VBS', 'Zondo Commission'. I. have been known to break out in hives at the mention of the word 'SARS'.
I suggest we discard the word 'courtroom'. It is insulting and humiliating. Quite possibly racist too. We could call it the 'Place of Vindication'. After all, that's what we're expecting, if we can just get you to spend a day or two. Once you've recovered fully. Nothing unusual about removing humiliating words from our lexicon. It's been suggested, for example, that we remove 'illegal' and 'immigrant' ( in that particular sequence) from our vocabulary. One can picture a not-illegal-immigrant just about to crawl under the border fence. He spots a windblown newspaper on the South African side, "Illegal Immigrants" the headline. Wounded to the soul, he abandons his not-illegal immigration attempt and shuffles off home.
Anyway, sir, I suggest that you stand firm until an investigation has been concluded. There is no point in risking your delicate health just to satisfy the justice people and most of South Africa . Your health is paramount. There are struggle songs yet to be sung. Vigorous dances yet to be performed . Wooing to be done (of the hearts and minds of the people. Not the other thing, oh ye of base imagination). Let us keep perspective and priorities before us.
This should buy a useful few months. I am not suggesting that you want a delay. On the contrary, you've stated clearly that you want your day in court and your behaviour gives no cause to doubt your sincerity. Or your burning, nay, flaming, impatience to see justice done. In fact, I am sure you had already girded up your once-presidential loins in tasteful, formal, courtroom-friendly attire. I imagine that you were striding purposefully to the door, when, oy vey, like Superman and kryptonite, the tingling began. Or whatever other dreadful symptoms you are afflicted with. The fact that you first felt the full fury of the latest attack on the very day you were due to appear, bears out my carefully researched theory.
There are those cynics who aver that you are playing games. Who plays games with a subject as delicate as health. Was not this the very cause of your righteous indignation with some individual (name escapes me)? Some legal chap.
Had you wanted to play games, you could have gone to court and named the legions of spies that you once spoke of. That would have been good for a month of court time. But you are not one to waste taxpayers' time and hard-earned money. Didn't you prove that while in the highest office? Didn't you prove that with your strenuous efforts to have your month in court, against a run of very bad luck, poor health and other stuff?
Sir, I am ready to discuss this approach over tea. And perhaps whatever cake is left over from the historic, Malema high-tea visit. You need a non-legal mind, to help take in the broad panorama, not just the narrow causeway of things juristic. As you have demonstrated, there is more to life than just the law.
Yours in the arduous struggle to balance the scales of justice.
Richard
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