Bananas

 Reports of corruption, incompetence and buffoonery dominate the news.

It was good to read a tweet on something completely different: the struggle against banana abuse.

Apparently, a deputy minister valiantly defended his fruit bowl from an audacious banana raid. That is his version of events. The other party involved reportedly claimed that he was defending his own fruit bowl from a similar onslaught. One hopes that the layers of this banana saga will be peeled away.

The tweet:

"The complainant - a 33-year old male parliamentary staffer, alleges that deputy minister, Cde Dr Sibongiseni Dhlomo inappropriately touched his genitals before trying to push him onto his bed. 

Dhlomo, in turn, counterclaims that the man invaded his space & “took a banana” from his fruit basket without permission before he chased him away..."

I was surprised to read of 'inappropriate' touching of genitals, as I was unaware that an appropriate option exists. Perhaps that is why Mr Malema boldly spoke of having parliamentarians by the scrotum. 

Dr Dhiomo is a medical doctor and deputy minister of health. He was born in uMbumbulu on the KZN South Coast. This explains several things. Bananas are important to the economy of the South Coast. As a health expert, the good doctor knows  how important bananas are in improving the immune system and reducing the risk of disease, among others. It follows that he would repel any raids with commendable vigour and every means at his disposal. That need not exclude pushing aspiring raiders onto beds. Being from KZN myself, I imagine that the doctor's technique was refined by having to repel those impertinent coastal monkeys from time to time. 

It was prudent of the gentleman not to take the invasion of his space lying down. I am sure that from such seemingly small incidents are such things as land invasions born. Go back into Putin's history. I guarantee you that you will find a trail of space invasion and  banana snatching. Probably from an early age. Left unchecked, look where it has got us to! 

Of course there is the alternative  version that suggests that bananas were the last thing on the deputy minister's mind. Sigh! This promises to be as difficult to prove or disprove as an allegation involving masseurs and ministers (just plucked that one at random from my fertile, fevered imagination).

One can but hope that before it all went banana shaped, the meeting was fruitful.

Tips for the blogger gratefully accepted 

Capitec Bank, South Africa  

1378565477

O Tichmann

+27 833970723