Oh Capitec, My Capitec

Dear Capitec 

Like many other pensioners, I was thrilled at the recent whopping increase of R10 on my state pension. I suspect that many tears of joy were shed countrywide.

I think that the parliamentarians, having received their own little increase, were then moved with compassion for senior citizens. What would we do without this government?

Like many other pensioners, I am constantly on the lookout for opportunities to supplement the generous government grant. I found an outfit online that paid for reviews. They paid promptly. 

My joy at this discovery was short-lived. I woke one morning, ready for another fruitful day, only to find my Capitec account studded with zeros. Three phone calls later, I was told that there had been a complaint against the company. It was designated a scam / Ponzi scheme and all accounts had been stopped. Now,  it would have been useful to have been told this upfront. I know that guessing is more fun,  but I would have thought that being number one implies excellent service, which in turn implies excellent communication. But then again, I suppose I have some outdated ideas. This is, after all, South Africa. 

The service model pioneered by our government and enthusiastically emulated by many businesses is the famous 'Bugger The Customer' model. Following the advice of your Fraud Department, I had an affidavit drawn up at the local police station. This I took to your branch and the person who attended to me assured me that it had been loaded onto your, no doubt, magnificent system. 

I was told that there would be a five-day wait while the matter was looked into. Five days came and went. I ate bread and drank water, surprisingly nutritious. (Okay, that was a slight exaggeration - I had coffee too). 

I was at your branch this morning, where a gentleman, who seemed to be rather low on energy, assisted me. Well it is Monday and 'assisted' is probably an exaggeration. You have no doubt heard of the nine wasted years. We seem to have had five wasted days. It seemed to me that the gentleman had to start the entire matter from scratch, as if nothing had happened before. Whatever good humour I had,  evaporated. Strange that. I can't imagine why. 

When he told me that he could not find the affidavit, I became slightly perturbed. On the rare occasions that that happens, I tend to make much use of the letter 'f'. This was one such occasion. I then advised the gentleman that I would be writing an article highlighting the unique approach to service at Capitec. He seemed quite unmoved. 

I did receive a message from Capitec later. I could track my enquiry by following some simple steps. It would have been useful to know this the first time round. At any rate, I followed the steps. They led to a dark, dead end. I will say this for you: when you piss people off, you go all the way. No half-measures there. South African excellence in action.

I should know by now that courtesy and service, as in government, are reserved for those with connections, money and power. I really have to do something about these absurd ideas that roll around in my head concerning respect for all and similar foolishness. As mentioned before,  if you are number one, one can't wait to meet numbers two, three etc.

Yours in the struggle to find ever-elusive  courtesy, respect,service. 

Richard.

Tips for the blogger gratefully accepted 

Capitec Bank, South Africa  

1378565477

O Tichmann 

+27 833970723