Quality

Dear Fellow South Africans 

I agree with Mr Ramaphosa's view that we should stop bad-mouthing our country. In fact, he took the words out of my mouth as adroitly as SARS takes the bread out of my mouth. And corruption takes the peanut butter and jam.

Of course, he did not say that we should stop bad-mouthing the ANC. So here goes! Just joking.

South Africans do go on far too much about incidents of so called corruption. For example, there was a huge outcry about the R280 000 Eskom brooms, the slightly cheaper mops, quality knee-pads and flourescent lights. (Of course, one needs good knee-pads to perform the traditional obesiance to assorted politicians and SOE celebrities).

The point, dear countrymen, is that it is not all about quantity. Japan rose on a wave of quality improvement. And so do we. It is silly and absurd to assume that a R280 000 broom is for sweeping floors only. Clearly this particular broom doubles as a means of transportation. No Eskom executive need ever be late for a meeting or a bonus negotiation session.

Someone complained on X about a culvert that supposedly cost R22 million to build. It looks like a pretty straightforward job and it's none too pretty. But then, these things can be deceptive. Who knows but that there's an exquisite, subtle, artistic tribute here to Hamas tunnel and culvert workmanship elsewhere. What with our being on such comradely terms. 

It's possible that the cost has been falsified to discredit the ANC. A project of that sort is surely worth about R40 million at current BBBEE tender rates. Here's the kicker. There are allegations that the cement was not even taken out of the cement bags. The full bags were instead stacked and used like bricks. Now, steady on here chaps. Don't let bitterness and cynicism blind you to our marvellous technical advances and achievements. Have you not seen or used 'cook-in-the-bag' food products. I think that the same principle has been applied to our cement. A leap of creativity and innovation. This is a moerse Vorsprung durch Technik.

So, there you are Mr Alfred and your fellow cynics. Just as Mr Ramaphosa urged us to look at the brighter side of loadshedding (paradox though that is), so I urge you to celebrate our advances and achievements. Give credit where credit is due (of course, cash in brown envelopes and black plastic bags is preferable).

I remind you all that, to this day, only in a South African hospital can you swop dowdy hospital gowns for trendy skinny jeans. If that isn't Vorsprung, then I don't know what is.

Yours in the struggle for quality.

Richard 

Tips for the blogger gratefully accepted 

Tymebank , South Africa  

51090259373

O Tichmann 

+27 833970723