Dear Mr Zuma
My heartfelt thanks for your wisdom and guidance. I was on the verge of making a terrible mistake at the polling station.
I understand that you said that a vote for the ANC is a vote for WMC. Now, I mistakenly thought that a vote for the DA was a vote for WMC. Ah, but now I see it clearly. A vote for The DA is a vote for apartheid. Thank you for making that clear distinction. It would be a terrible thing to think that one had made one's mark for WMC only to find later that it was actually a vote for apartheid. Or vice -versa. I wish that these political parties would make it as clear as to what we are actually voting for.
Following the advice of Dr Ace I have managed to steer clear, to date, of voting for proxies for such sinister organizations as the CIA, who apparently also control the ANC. For all that I know, I may well have unwittingly voted for George Soros and several other shadowy parties over the years. There is so much that we don't know. So many plots and conspiracies, so little time. For example, a plot against Mr Mashatile was recently brought to light. By Mr Mashatile. Thanks to such Eskom-like shafts of light into the new dusk of South African politics, we are not ignorant of the dangerous world we inhabit. Thank goodness, Mr Zuma that you have come out of your corner for another round.
This is the kind of clarity and transparency that we have lacked in South African politics since your reluctant retirement. My sole request is that you now unmask the kingmakers behind all South African political parties. I have heard, for example, unsettling rumours that a vote for the EFF is a vote for foreign powers. Names such as Gucci and Dolce & Gabbana have been tossed around. So stressed was I by the revelation, that I had to buy a pack of cheap cigarettes from my local spazza in order to calm down.
Word is that you have teamed up with passionate supporters of pan-africanism and the cause of RET. I have heard the name Liebenburg thrown around. I understand that he is a poster boy for the struggle against racism. Apparently he was heard expounding on his enlightened philosophy in a leaked tape. It's important to have allies with similar values as oneself. Particularly those who will not be swayed by materialistic temptations.
You reportedly said that you would die an ANC member. But you will not vote for the ANC. That does make perfect sense. After all voting and dying are two different things. Though, in South Africa, the connection can be close.
I would also like to know whether you have now made a theological leap of change of direction. Will the ANC still rule until the Lord returns or do you have a new revelation on this matter? Perhaps revealed to you in a troubled dream during your brief period of martyrdom in the prison in Escort. A sort of Joseph experience. I know that having been ordained as a pastor, you are very much in touch with the spiritual realm.
Well sir, having listened to your gooseflesh-raising comeback speech, I now await with patience the further revelations that you will be blessing us with. Just as I have been waiting many a long year for the beans that you promised to spill, some time ago.
You did mention that you have been suffering from a cough or some other throat problem. This is a concern. I suspect that this is what has kept you from attending various court hearings and other appointments. I was once troubled by a similar ailment that kept me from writing several math tests. I recommend daily doses of a heated buchu brandy, ginger, lemon and honey mixture. Should that not do the trick, a large dose of castor oil, perhaps. It may not clear the throat but does wonders for a clogged digestive system. Beans can do that.
Yours in the struggle for truth, transparency and a seat at the groaning supper table.
Richard.
Tips for the blogger gratefully accepted
Tymebank , South Africa
51090259373
O Tichmann
+27 833970723
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