The Peacemakers

 I watched the news last night. No, not SABC TV news. Real news. 

I sat up when the reporter asked his guest who he thought would be Ideal to mediate in the conflict between israel and iran. 'Well, that would be South Africa', I thought. I was

outraged when there was no mention of the beloved country. What with our host of talented diplomats and statespeople. 

I immediately dashed off a letter, accusing those concerned of racism, capitalist, imperialist tendencies and a few other choice maladies. 

What the heck! Do we not have influence in high places?  Did we not drink tea or vodka,  or all of the above, with our good Russian comrades in tense times? Do we not allegedly have excellent relationships with

various liberation organizations in the Middle East and elsewhere? Who else had the  wherewithal to load fokol onto a Russian ship (as per our minister of defense), during said tense moments?

Did we not host Al Bashir and other influential leaders? We would have hosted the Dalai Lama too, were it not for some logistical and administrative difficulties.

Which other country has demonstrated unquestionable neutrality to the extent that we have?

One need only look back at how swiftly and efficiently we resolved the 2021 troubles in KZN. Can there be any doubt that we are the first choice for helping to ease tensions 

and resolve conflict? The relaxed, reasonable exchanges on social media will tell you all that you need to know about our positive, 'live and let live' national philosophy and approach to all mankind, regardless of race, gender or place of border fence crossing.

Didn't our minister of police wisely advise the City of Cape Town officials to get off their high horses and negotiate with taxi

organizations during the taxi violence in that city?  Unfortunately, they did not heed his sage advice and look what happened. I think that relationships between the city and the taxi gentlemen are still strained. All unnecessary. Things would have gone so well if they had simply sat around a couple of buckets of KFC and acceded to the (surely reasonable) demands of those.

peace loving gentlemen, who, I'm sure, just wanted to ferry people around. All would have been sweetness and light today. As I'm confident it will be, once Mr Cele has negotiated with Zama Zamas, the construction mafia, izinKabi, and other important stakeholders. After all,  don't they desire the same things we do, namely, peace, harmony  - and a bit of ill-gotten loot? Ah well, there's no reasoning with some people. 

Our president flew all the way to Ukraine (with attendant hardships of bland airline food, etc.). He endured insolent treatment from the Polish border people (I could have told him that the Poles can be troublesome). All of this was done in the interests of global peace. What did he get in return? Apparently a missile or two while in Kyiv. Nonetheless,  our man soldiered on (in a peaceful manner, of course).

Have we not gone from strength to strength, taking Israel and those murderous people in Sudan and elsewhere to the international court?  Oh sorry, got that a little wrong. We will probably deal with the Sudanese and others a bit later. All lives are important, but we can't do everything at the same time, can we? 

We punch way above our weight, landing fierce jabs and devastating uppercuts, as we dance around global challenges like Ali on steroids. I expect that the global powers will soon realize they made a mistake and come crawling to us for assistance. We will, as always, be magnanimous and forgiving. 

This troubled world needs from South Africa the unique thing that our politicians bring to international diplomacy and troubleshooting. It is elusive, intriguing, mysterious. Perhaps it's best described by the minister's own word: fokol.

Watch this space. Also CNN the BBC and Al Jazeera.. You read it here first. 

Tips for the blogger gratefully accepted 

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