A World In One Country

 Like the president, I am shocked. Indeed, shell-shocked. 

My analyst, Dr von Schollenhofen von Eltern unter den Tannenbàumen, diagnosed PTSASD (post-traumatic South African stress disorder). Curable only by nine holes of golf.

It's been a week from hell. Taking politicians hostage is bad enough. Stupid, of course. Who, in their right minds, would pay a ransom for a South African politician? But to attack a Shisa Nyama owner! Cold-blooded brutality. That's the last bastion of service delivery in South Africa.

Elsewhere, scenes reminiscent of Blackhawk Down, as alleged Somali traders burn taxis. Mr Cele was on the scene in what seemed like seconds. The US, the UK and other less-developed nations (than ours) tend to have the local chief constable, police chief or commissioner respond in such situations. We send in the big hats..., I mean, big guns. That's why we are so far advanced. In all sorts of things.

I was present and saw a group of dubious-looking fellows with firearm bulges in various places. They were shaking with what could have been mistaken for laughter. I knew that it was fear. It's working, Mr Cele. It can only get better. It can only...

We are streets ahead of the US. They have the mafia (which doesn't really exist) and various crime corporations. In South Africa, you can hire a disposable hitman at Black Friday rates all year round.

Makes one proud to be South African.

To those hysterical alarmists who interpret the recent avalanche of disasters as meaning that the barbarians are at the gates, I say: "Don't be ridiculous." The gates are firmly locked. 

The barbarians are safely within.

Tips for the blogger gratefully accepted 

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