Going To The Dogs

 

• Dear SIU, Hawks and Other Crimebusters

People say that South Africa is going to the dogs. While self-respecting dogs may bridle at that suggestion, it did spark off an idea. May I, in all modesty, add, a brilliant idea.

We've long known that dogs can sniff out explosives, drugs and accelerants. Now, more excitingly, there are indications that they can also sniff out various illnesses and diseases.

What is the greatest threat to the stability and progress of our beloved country? Corruption, of course. It's been described as an epidemic. Applying the superior logic gained from observing EFF leadership, corruption can therefore be categorised as an illness. 

I suggest that we begin training corruption-sniffing dogs forthwith. While dogs sniff armpits for disease, I imagine that our canines would focus on the stomach area. One would expect a richer, riper scent than that emanating from other ailments. 

With an eye to our EFF comrades on the ground, I suggest that we don't use the popular European breeds. The use of German Shepherds, Belgian Malinois, English Springer Spaniels could lead to accusations of racism and neo-colonialism. Bruno is a Wentworth, Durban - born dog of uncertain, but indisputably South African origin. He already shows great promise, having seen off several election campaigners in fine style.  I see him as a pioneer in this new war on corruption. A sort of first among equals.

I'm working on the tender proposal, with other local dog owners and trainers. We will be needing a veritable army of trained canines. Just a hunch.

Yours in the out-of-the-box approach to the grim struggle against corruption.

Richard

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