Zuma, History and Abelungu

Dear Ms Zuma-Sambudla 

I am thrilled that your esteemed father not only made history but also thrust a spear into the heart of the mysterious, sinister, omnipresent, ever-mischievous Abelungu (Whites).

Your tweet below:

"Say What You Want…President Zuma Is Frustrating Abelungu As He Continues To Make HIS-STORY!!!"

I can picture future students poring over their history books, riveted by this entry: 

'On that fateful day, the tenth of October in the year 2022,  Jacob Gedleyihlekisa  Zuma, giant of RET, struck a blow against the pale forces of WMC,  Abelungu and the dozens of other enemies of righteousness peace and justice in the beloved country.  One  that reverberates as did the blow struck at iSandlwana. As Mr Zuma strode into the courtroom surrounded by his formidable legal team, a hush fell upon the assembly.....'.  

A hush falls upon the already hushed classroom. 

You mention Abelungu quite often and they have taken on, for me, a sinister mysterious aspect, not unlike the White Walkers of Game of Thrones.

I decided to beard these lions in their dens about their obsession with Mr Zuma. An executive, (white as they come),  explained:

"You know how many companies have safety as a mandatory first item on the agenda at meetings? Well, at our company (and, I am sure, many others) Mr Zuma tops the agenda at all meetings".

I then cornered a family sitting down to lunch at a Spur restaurant,  having established that this is where many Abelungu may be found. After confirming that they were indeed white and not merely lacking exposure to sunlight, I asked the all-important question. 

"We love talking about him at the dinner table", the mother replied. 

"The cost of living is killing us", added the father, taking a bite out of his spicy wing. "But the comings and goings of Mr Zuma are of far more concern. Even the kids join in the conversation", he finished proudly. Two little girls nodded vigorously and a gap-toothed toddler gurgled 'Zooma". 

To ensure that my sample was representative, I posed the question to a group of teenagers. 

"He is very important, hey",  said one. "He should have his own Tik-Tok channel."

They broke into a passable rendition of 'umShini Wami' and performed a rather clumsy imitation of Mr zuma's graceful dance steps. 

There we have it. Abelungu are obsessed with Mr Zuma. As the twitterati might put it, the events of Monday will have caused chest pains in households, boardrooms and clubs all over the country.

Long live, long dance the history-maker. 

Yours in the struggle against Abelungu and the quest for a place in history.

Richard

Tips for the blogger gratefully accepted 

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