Monday, 10 March 2025

The Mar-a-Largo Candidate

Explaining what makes Vladimir Putin a cruel, vicious dictator is as redundant as explaining what makes Count Dracula a  vampire.


Nonetheless, some of my friends, (including a famous Honourable Daughter),  see him as the modern equivalent of the Great White Father Across the Sea. So, for them, here are a few subtle hints.

It is common cause that anyone brave or foolish enough to speak against the Frowning One quickly ends up in the place - where - one - does - not - pass - begin nor receive R200.

His political opponents seem to routinely end up in the same place, or dead, or all of the above. 

A small detail that seems to have escaped the attention of that philosopher - statesman, Donald Trump, is that Vladimir is the cruel aggressor and invader in the Ukraine Special Operation. 

He ticks all the duck detection boxes, as applied to bullies, tyrants and dictators.
He looks like one, talks like one, walks like one. Ergo, he is one.

Of course the proof of the pudding is, as always, in the eating and it would be enlightening for the Great White Father worshippers to spend some time in Russia and shoot their mouths off with gay abandon. 

If Russia is indeed the forerunner of the Brave New World, then many economic and political refugees have not noticed. They do not exactly crowd the ships and planes to get there.  Many people express the desire to move to the great Satan,  the USA. There may be some who would give anything to move to the Big Cabbage, Moscow. I have not come across anyone who does. Perhaps you have. 

What is wrong with Donald? What does Donald Trump see that makes him worship  at Putin's throne? It seems as if he would willingly burn down Ukraine to please Vladimir. On that note,  let's make a prediction, namely that given all the leeway, this bugger (Trump), will burn the whole world down. The world needs leaders with compassion, character, competence and cool heads. The USA has gone for gigantic ego, hot heads, dubious character and bluster. That's not exactly a recipe for healing chicken soup for the world. So back to the question of why Trump's heart beats rapidly at the thought of Putin. Some possibilities.

Perhaps Trump is not as smart as he's reputed to be. Or he may be street smart, which doesn't always mean wise. 

Could Putin have something on him? Did he perhaps have a meaningful relationship with, say, a Russian actress?

Does he simply admire the man because he's always wanted to be a dictator himself when he grows up?

Is there perhaps a Brokeback Mountain thing going on here in plain sight of the whole world?

Here's my theory in the form of a short story. 

A masseuse  in an up market, elegant  massage parlour leaves her client to disrobe in the cubicle while she makes an urgent call. 

"Comrade,  the orange - haired man is here. Shall I now use the special lotion that you gave me?"

"Excellent. Yes, go ahead". 

"Is it true, comrade, that the lotion will release nanobots through his skin". 

"Da, comrade. These will make their way to the relevant part of the brain and every time he hears the word 'Putin', he will go into the ecstasy that a spaniel goes into when the master shows up"

For Manchurian Candidate, substitute Mar-a-Largo Candidate. 

That very afternoon, Trump's secretary pops into his office.

"I'm done for the day, sir, and if it's okay with you, I'd like to put in an extra day's leave after Thanksgiving."

"Thank you Stella. Of course you may".

He pauses. A blankness, like a veil, falls over his face.  His eyes glaze over. He mutters the words "put in". 

"Are you alright sir?"

He gives himself a shake. 

"Yes, yes. I'm fine. You go off and enjoy yourself". 

As the secretary's footsteps echo down the corridor, he picks up his telephone.

"Vladimir", he says.  "What do you need me for? You know that I'm yours to command."

"Ah, Donald, my good and faithful friend," says the heavily accented voice at the other end. Yes, there is this thing with Ukraine...."


Tips for the blogger gratefully accepted 

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2 comments:

  1. I believe the nanobots version as its consistent with the vanity of the tangerine turd. As for grate white (orange?) worshippers, send them two brain cells and a pair of glasses.

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