Dear Mister Cele
You fascinate me.
It's the kind of fascination one has for a particularly dark, Monty Python-esque, horror comedy.
During the recent taxi violence you told the Cape Town City government in typically restrained, respectful and diplomatic fashion to get off their high horses and negotiate with Santaco. Perhaps they did not heed your advice because they have passed beyond the horse and horse manure era.
On the subject of equines, is it not time that you got off your high ass and did some real work that your portfolio requires? Interesting that, in the first instance, you did not address the ones doing the burning, barricading, bullying and other barbaric stuff that we have, sadly, become quite accustomed to. But of course they have the democratic right to take a dump on the rights of others. Just thought that, as a staunch defender of the rule of law, that might have been uppermost in your mind.
Perhaps you did mention that in your thought-provoking speech. I did not read much further. How do I put this delicately? Your speeches are generally not the stuff of inspiration and edification. I stopped there, so as not to take the edge and the piquant flavour off those first portentous lines. If you did address the issue, please ignore relevant portions of this respectful letter.
Sir, I hope you do not interpret this as a 'talk down to the gardener' approach. As you did with Mr Ian Cameron. Even if I had a gardener (with necessary garden), we would not have this conversation. His responsibility would stop at maintenance of law and order in a small garden. Yours, I think, is law and order in a large, modern country. Both of which,(law and order), you might have noticed are in desperately short supply in South Africa. But then again perhaps you have been too busy jumping into various important lecturing and pontificating opportunities.
In recent news is the kafkaesque story of the whistleblower brought to court in leg irons. Truly we have become a land of bewildering, surreal contrasts and contradictions. Whistleblowers in leg irons, whistleblowers assassinated, a murderer and rapist swanning around Sandton City, at liberty and at ease. But I suppose, sir, that you have far more important things under your hat. Let the reader speculate as to what those critically important things may be. They certainly far override such considerations as the safety of South Africans, some semblance of Law and Order and even a modicum of sanity.
Perhaps one might humbly ask, without resorting to gardener type patronizing, a few questions.
It would be mildly interesting to know the substance of your meeting with Santaco, before the madness.... pardon, I meant to say, the exercise of democratic rights.
What are your views on the Whistleblower Saga which reflects a little less than brightly on your professional police force? Perhaps such matters are not for the peasants.
Has there been any movement on the Police Intelligence quotient thermometer since the infamous kzn riots?
What is being done about the frequent reports of corruption and criminality in the ranks of the country's finest?
To say nothing of the avalanche of reports of corruption and criminality in the ranks of the country's politicians and officials .
Has there been any progress in addressing the dreadful malady sweeping through your forces - the sleeping-on-the-job sickness?
When do you plan on gathering the generals, colonels, lieutenants, captains and other grandly titled officers? I should think that you would want them to get off their high horses with some alacrity and do something about the shambles that is policing in this country.
It does seem that your injunction to your forces that criminals should 'see you, feel, smell and taste you' has not been obeyed. Certainly we, the citizens, can smell something. It's not good, sir.
To cannibalize Omar khayyàm.
'The moving finger points and having pointed, turns back. '
Well sir, I am sure that you have many important lectures to give, witticisms to scatter abroad and fine philosophical gems to impart. Please do not let me interrupt your critical business, whatever that may be. I am sure that it is no business of the ordinary non-honourable citizen in a democracy.
You still have a full year of critical ministerial work to do before you are removed. May you then ride off into your sunset of choice on a high horse.
Yours in the struggle to understand what the hell your performance targets and indicators actually are (what with your not being a gardener, but THE cat in the hat).
Richard
Tips for the blogger gratefully accepted
Capitec Bank, South Africa
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O Tichmann
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