Dear Fellow South Africans
Saturday 5 November 2022
To Fell A Country
Thursday 3 November 2022
Ms Mkhwebane And KFC
Dear Fellow South Africans
"We need Powerade for the energy, you know," she was quoted as saying.
It is widely known that KFC has the same beneficial effect. To what else can one attribute the sterling performance of our law enforcement officers and politicians?
This deep-fried Southern delicacy played a role in a revolutionary prison reform experiment. Another excerpt from not so long ago:
"Gauteng Community Safety MEC, Sizakele Nkosi-Malobane, has defended her decision to spend more than R60,000 of taxpayers’ money treating prisoners to a KFC meal, after pictures of her handing out the food went viral on social media, according to a report by The Star.
Despite many commenters pointing that ordinary, innocent South Africans could not afford the luxury of fast food, Nkosi-Malobane said that the decision was made due to cost factors and to remind prisoners of the benefits of the outside world."
I can see convicted rapists and murderers falling to their knees in repentance at the first explosion of eleven-secret-herbs-and-spices flavour in their mouths. I see them turning to charitable works and lives of selfless service.
This gem from Ms Lucas:
"How would we have eaten if we didn't use taxpayers' money?"
Now that deserves a place on a plaque on every ANC wall. And as an epitaph on the tombstone of the Great Liberation Movement.
Spokesperson for the premier’s office Monwabisi Nkompela said Lucas’s spending was “not excessive” and was “totally blown out of proportion”.
Large amounts of KFC can blow things out of proportion, as the many beach-ball shaped stomachs attest.
I am sorely disappointed that the panel did not shine a laser light on the KFC conspiracy. Yes, yes, there were intriguing e-mails, interesting cash disbursements, unusual public relations initiatives and other delightful matters to spend many jolly hours on. Still, it's a matter of priorities. When will we wake up to the truth that this country runs on KFC? (Also vegetarian curries, for a while, some say). As long as we ensure that there is a deep-fried, deeply spiced chicken in every pot, all will be well.
We are what we eat.
I have not been paid in kind by KFC for this article. Therein lies another travesty of justice.
Yours in the struggle for justice and the odd drumstick.
Richard
Monday 31 October 2022
Excrement
Dear Fellow South Africans
Saturday 29 October 2022
Think Like a Hyena
At least one of the states in that big satan, the US, offers qualifying residents free solar panels and other equipment.
Friday 28 October 2022
Rumours of Terror
Dear Fellow South Africans
Tuesday 25 October 2022
Leadership Lessons From Texas
Dear Mr Abbott
Saturday 22 October 2022
Boris Johnson, Party On
Dear Mr Johnson