To Fell A Country

 Dear Fellow South Africans 

Forget what your deceitful history teachers told you. 

Here is a brief insight into what really caused the fall of the  Roman empire.

"Speak, Celsius Bhekus! Wherefore art thou  pale and shaking as a leaf in Winter rages?"

"Great Caesar, my legionnaires grow weary and dispirited. Barbarians and bandits roam the countryside. They grow bolder by the hour."

"Fear not, oh Celsius, for they shall taste  the Empire's wrath. Call me a task team made of mighty men. We shall deliberate for days until this pestilence be past."

"As you command, Great Caesar," hand flopping against his belly in the imperial salute.

"Now, Fixus Umbilicus, what troubles you?"

"Oh, Caesar, our once mighty roads, culverts and bridges are fallen into ruin. The charioteers heed not our laws. They clash together with the noise of thunder in the heavens."

"Fixus, have I not commanded think tanks and commissions for this great task? 'Ere yet this decade fades into the next, all will be well. But Fixus, wherefore weepest thou?"

"Oh, mighty Caesar, am I not Italian? But tears of relief and joy these be." 

Caesar draws himself to his full height.

"Let me have men about me that are still. Tight lippèd men and such as secrets keep. Yond Jacobus hath a full-lipped, fertile mouth. He speaks too much. Such men are dangerous." 

(These original lines were shamelessly cannibalized by one, William Shakespeare).

Enter Celsius, in haste.

"Ah, Celsius, art thou returned so soon? And muttering like one possessed. Thy sweat-stained brow speaketh of troubles new and fears fresh."

"Caesar, we are undone. Barbarian hordes are e'en this instant at the gates."

"What seek they?"

"The usual, sire. Looting, rape and pillaging."

"Ah, then thank I the Roman gods. I feared for an instant t'was a presser that they sought. Here, good Celsius, refresh thyself with wine from Southern Africa. T'is a good year. Et tu Fixus?"

And that, fellow South Africans, is what really happened. 

Yours in the struggle against revisionism.

Richard

Tips for the blogger gratefully accepted 

Capitec Bank, South Africa  

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