Another Day In The Beloved Country

Dear Fellow South Africans 

The internet was down for the fourth time in about as many weeks. The technicians had tried all day but had failed to resolve the issue. So said the ever-helpful library staff.

I once foolishly thought that technical problems were relatively straightforward to resolve (I'm not saying 'easy'). As  opposed to, say, the riddle of the sphinx, the mystery of the meaning of life and questions on the  origin of man. (The problem lies with valve A, transmitter B or widget C). Clearly, I was mistaken. 

One thing that is not a mystery: if we cannot  run a small, local library efficiently, how can we be expected to run trains, power stations or a national broadcaster? 

In South Africa,  heavily armed zama-zamas frolic gleefully along with armed villains of every description. Corruption plumbs new depths. Hardly a level or department of government or SOE's remains unsoiled.  We are truly sons of the soil. Mysteries, allegations, accusations rain down like the biblical  locust plague. Our national broadcaster, in their wisdom and great mercy spare us the pain of such news. 

We were treated to a briefing by Eskom. I was delighted at the  lingering coverage of the fire drill. I now know to take a left, a right and exit (walk, don't run) into the car park. Should I be magically transported from my (dollar-free) couch to the briefing venue, I will be fine.

A long, somewhat technical report followed. Those lazy buggers at CNN, the BBC and other inferior news services would have summarized the main issues. Who knows when the intimate knowledge of generation stats, valves and other dinguses may well save my life in a dangerous South Africa ? SABC, my, you do inform, entertain and educate. I was transfixed  - between snores. 

More education, entertainment and information followed, as a gentleman explained the intricacies of his company's complex dealings in supporting minibus taxis and other forms of transport. I dozed off and missed anything he might have said on the important subject of donkey carts.

A markets segment followed. The erudite speaker probably passed his B.Com. cum laude but failed English dismally, catastrophically.  Once more, I was rivetted during the first five seconds All of these spellbinding segments lasted far, far longer than the boring catalogue of murder, corruption, looting, buffoonery and incompetence that make up the bulk of our less important news.

I feel so informed, educated and entertained that I need to take a nap.

Yours in the struggle for actual news.

Richard 

Tips for the blogger gratefully accepted 

Capitec Bank, South Africa  

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O Tichmann 

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