Dogs Of War

 Dear Mr Carl Niehaus 

I love your brand of comedy. Your delivery is  so straight  - faced that many South Africans take you seriously. Their loss.

If an army marches on its stomach, then you have many, many miles in you. Your recent 'honour guard for Dr Ace' routine was a scream. Deft touch having that up - and - coming trooper, Tony, saluting. Students of literature would probably read all sorts of subtle undertones and allusions into it. For me, it was just riotously funny.

Actors often immerse themselves in an experience, so as to give their roles a gritty, realistic feel. There's an opportunity for you beyond our borders. Those humourless fanatics in Mozambique could have their first, real belly - laugh in a long time. You'd probably leave them weak enough for the African Union to mop up with ease. I suggest you take our burlesque version of the Green Berets with you, namely the Red Berets. They also haven't done anything new for a while. Probably straining at the leash.

Nothing like a new routine to inject life into an ailing comedy act. I suggest that you don't take any live ammunition. You could hurt yourselves.

Yours in the struggle for fresh, relevant comedy. 

Richard