Swine

 We may not be able to defeat these swine, but we don't have to join them.

Bob Dylan

Dear Fellow South Africans 

Scrolling through the thought-provoking content on Twitter, I came across a bizarre video clip. I could not identify the country. It couldn't have been South Africa. People were running amok, looting and burning buildings. Things our disciplined cadres would never do.

Here's the bizarre bit. Two men were carrying a live pig through the chaos in the streets. My first thought was: where in the name of  Muck did they find a live pig? The second was that it was kind of them to rescue the obviously frightened animal.

I showed a friend. He is a cynic of note. 

"Well", said he. "I don't know whether this is a coup attempt  or not, but for the pig, that's a fait accompli."

As I don't understand Spanish, I was perplexed.

He went on to say that the practice of carrying pigs was nothing new. In his country, he said, the people bore the burden of sleek, fat (sorry, plus-sized) swine on their shoulders daily. What was new was a couple of swine carrying a third. I was now thoroughly confused.

"Forget about it." I didn't like the glint in his eyes. "They were probably just practicing for the Olympic swine race. We're a cert for gold."

I was as confused as if I'd just heard a classic speech by Dr Ace or a celebrity political commentator.

Please let me have your interpretation, if this makes any sense to you. In English.

Yours in the struggle for clarity.

Richard