The Geopolitical Academy for Tracking Viruses Occurring
Locally (GATVOL), makes this announcement in the interests of public safety.
We have identified at least two viruses posing great danger to the health of South Africans.
The Ank virus tricks the body into accepting it as a beneficial nutrient. Once ensconced within the cells, the virus siphons off nutrients until the body is severely malnourished and dehydrated. Interestingly, though subtle at first, the virus grows increasingly voracious with time. Not unlike a herd of swine tucking into a full trough.
This virus often gives rise to several variants. These compete ferociously for dominance, draining the body of any remaining nutrients, energy and strength. They then continue to feed hungrily off the dying body.
The F virus is thought be a variant of the Ank virus. It is similar in some of its behaviour. Also competing with the Ank virus, the F lacks subtlety. It merely rampages through the body. There is no mistaking it for anything but what it is: an entity that exists to wreak havoc and destruction. This variant is thought to be responsible for such conditions as Volatile Behaviour Syndrome (VBS). Under the microscope, it bears a remarkable resemblance to Pacman. Most of its surface resembles a gigantic, wide - gaping mouth. One of our German scientists said that he was reminded of a figure from his country's past history. Pressed for detail, he refused to comment further. "This is science", he said. "Not history ".
Fortunately, the laboratories of
Veracity, Menschlichkeit and Verstand have developed a highly effective regimen. Taken consistently, it rids the body of all variants over time.
South Africans, please be on the alert.
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