Home Sweet Home Affairs

Dear Home Affairs 

'Tis now the very witching time of night

When churchyards yawn

And hell itself breathes out contagion to this world'

My thoughts as I struggled into Home Affairs- appropriate garb yesterday. The minibus taxi driver nodded off at each red traffic light and had to be woken to continue the thrilling pre-dawn journey. I arrived at the venerable institution full of hope. Guiness Book record queues were there already. I calculated the chances of actually getting to the entrance on the day and made an inglorious retreat.

I have tried the online application process. It worked like a pre - Wright Brothers attempt at flight. Take off with gusto. Thud into the runway seconds later. I tried making an appointment. A list of offices in KZN appeared. One was not on any map known to mankind. The other would require the purchase of a return air ticket.

Perhaps I could just cease to exist for a while. It would be far easier than trying to acquire a shiny, new smart ID card. It also has advantages. My voicemail could be something like: "Dear creditor, the person you are trying to reach no longer exists. Please send cash in lieu of flowers".

I did read some good news. Apparently there are several satellite offices, that you have not publicized. Park Station, Johannesburg, and several private homes supposedly house these wonderfully innovative outlets. Please supply a list of Durban branches. The service is said to be excellent: speedy and simple. In addition to looking at your own cumbersome processes (long, long overdue), you might want to ask these providers how they do it. It's rumoured that one can even do a simultaneous name change. I've always rather fancied the name Lerato Ndlovu. Nice, Asian ring to it.

Yours in the struggle for service excellence.

Richard

Tips for the blogger gratefully accepted 

Capitec Bank, South Africa  

1378565477

O Tichmann 

+27 833970723