Serving the Nation

 Chatting to my friend from Muckistan,  I asked  how things were going in his country. 

He sighed. 

"I'm in an unbelievably long queue at the Interior Ministry,  trying to get some documents. My fourth attempt. An elderly lady just fainted from standing so long in the heat."

"But don't they provide some sort of seating or at least do something to make it easier for the elderly?"

"Oh no, their business is documents, not people. At least when they're not having tea or chatting  about world events. There is an enterprising bloke who rents out chairs for the day. Not everyone can afford that."

 "Is this normal?"

 He laughed. 

"Not in a normal world. In a Dickens novel, maybe.  But it is standard here. All that I can say is that brains are little used while bottoms grow fat."

"That's harsh."

"Not harsh enough for an organisation and a government goes on about 'people first' and Lord knows what other sanctimonious stuff that has buggerall to do with reality. "

"Is it always like that?"

"It's our bread and butter". he replied.

"But surely there are supervisors and managers."

"And?"

"Their jobs are to monitor, intervene, improve. In any normal organisation, the kind of mess you're describing should not become the norm,"

This time the laughter bordering on hysteria:

 "Why do you keep using the word 'normal'? You see there are a hundred ways to improve this process. It's not that difficult. Ultimately all of this or most of it could be done online."

"So what's the problem?"

 "Ah, you see,  ability to do something is one thing. Willingness is another. Actually giving a stuff is still another."

"Do you, ever get to comment or rate the services?"

"My friend,  this is government, not business."

"But you are paying for these services."

 "Yes well, through the international scam called taxes."

"Why do you call it a scam?"

"Can you think of any other investment that you have ever made that gives you such pathetic returns? And, in our case, is regularly plundered by the very people entrusted with its care?"

"Pathetic returns?"

"Disintegrating roads and services , rogues, thieves, incompetents and buffoons in office, crime gone ballistic...You want more?"

"Is the department always so chaotic?"

"Oh no. there are pockets of excellence."

"Really?"

"Yes, some of the employees allegedly provide services on the side for special customers and that is incredibly fast, efficient and lucrative too."

"What?"

"That's a long story for another time."

 "It sounds as if something illegal is going on."

"A sound as familiar as the chirping of birds, in our country. But our government has difficulty hearing, for the noise of their own yapping, farting and belching."

"Ouch! That's to the crotch."

"Where we get kicked regularly by the same muckers."

"So do something about it. You are a democracy after all. You know - will of the people, voice of the people and all that."

"Ha, ha, ha. Let me explain how this works here. We elect these people supposedly based on character and competence.  Great responsibility, great reward. But like you and I, they should be fired when they don't perform or misbehave. But here, they become gods. You don't boot a god up his all-powerful arse, do you? And that, my friend, sums up the entire mess."

"This is the 21st century, not Game of Thrones."

"Oh, we might become  a study for political science students, sociologists psychologist and historians for years to come. Stockholm Syndrome,  masochism, who knows?  This I can tell you: as a people, we have been thoroughly scammed. And we seem to love it. But how is it in your country?"

"Fortunately, we have Ubuntu." 

 

"What's that?"

"A philosophy of humanity towards other people. I suppose you could see it as a vision of a kinder, gentler nation  and country."

"You lucky sod."

"Indeed. Sometimes we pinch  ourselves."

Our conversation was terminated by loadshedding, followed  by the rattle of automatic rifle fire as druglords and their vassals  continued their ageless fueds.

I sat in the dark, contemplating our Good fortune.

Tips for the blogger gratefully accepted 

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