You'll Be Sorry

 Dear Liberation Movement 

'If you don't vote for us, you'll be sorry.'

So inspirational, ANC.  

Beats the hell out of insipid stuff like 'Make America Great Again' and 'Yes, We Can!' Great stuff comrades - the sort of call to the patriotic heart that makes strong men swoon. 

This will look marvellous on your election posters. You could shorten some of them to 'You'll be sorry'. Nice ring to it and an intriguing whiff of menace and mystery. Accompanying, colourful  pictures of some of your well-midriff-muscled candidates would make it a classic of election poster art. Perhaps going for six figure sums at Sotheby's.

Says a headline:

ANC’s Gwede Mantashe says South Africans would live to regret voting ruling party out of power

'At least they would live', quipped a cynical friend. I have no idea what he meant. You know how these clever blacks and colonial clerks are.

I thought long and hard about this profound message (okay, a few minutes in the loo).

We might miss the brilliant one-liners (medicine transported by head, smallanyana skeletons and so much more). 'Those flashes of merriment that were wont to set the table on a roar'.

We'll trade that for a decrease in trauma any day, as a real government gets on with the prosaic business of making South Africa liveable again.

Will we miss the blundering and bumbling (when not sleeping) of the guardian's of law, order and justice, as an assortment of villains runs rings around them? Call it a hunch; I doubt it.

And the absorbing, speculative math game of guess the real size of the looting iceberg? Looting achievements that would have left Genghis gasping in envy, the Vandals and the Goths slack-jawed in admiration.

What of the wit and eloquence of Moonwalker Mbalula, the electrifying performance of the 'what corruption?' minister of darkness, the humour of Jacob, the Laughing Cavalier, the brooding Hamlet-like soliloquies of Cyril the Silent? Perhaps on a slow day.

Yes, there will be much to regret. Mainly that we were blind enough to think that you could govern a chicken run, let alone a country. So much regret, so little time.

Nevertheless, we will bid you farewell with a hearty, sincere South African  VOETSEK.

Yours in the struggle to not miss you too much.

Richard 

Tips for the blogger gratefully accepted 

Capitec Bank, South Africa  

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