The Beloved Country

Dear Mr Musk

 

You should never have left South Africa. 

You would have had a ball here. Of course you would need to share your ball with some BEE partners. Our unions are a reasonable bunch. All that they want is to control the means of production. And, perhaps, a couple of other less important things - like who is in government. That would take a lot of worry off your mind - you know,  rockets exploding on takeoff, that sort of thing. Why, I think that you would have had people on Mars already. 

(Perhaps having some trouble bringing them back, but let's not fret about unimportant details).

Most importantly, you would not have been subjected to the indignity of that ridiculous Delaware judgment. It's almost as absurd as charging Mr Zuma with corruption, racketeering and other fascinating stuff. The man's clearly as pure as the Texas snow. 

Here, in our great country,  you could happily have stored your  fifty-six or fifty-eight billion in a couch. Okay, I know that doesn't sound quite right. Admittedly, you would need several couches, I imagine.  If you had launched your star thingamajig (the internet thing) here, we would have feted you as we celebrate Bafana. Once you had decided, of course, to give all South Africans free access. That's because we get  buggerall

else for free here.

According to reliable sources on X, South Africa is run by a  Mr Rupert, a white fellow.  It could just as well have been you. you certainly have more style and charisma than Mr Rupert,  who never even appears on television.  We like our leaders to have a high public profile. The Guptas at least appeared regularly.  

Of course if the whole Great White Leader Behind The Scenes story is true,  then perhaps you could even veto the sharing of the ball. What's left of South Africa would be your oyster or perlemoen.

There would be a challenge or two. But which country does not have such little challenges as intermittent electricity, incompetence, corruption,  buffoonery in high places, runaway crime,  porous borders, suicidal foreign policy and so on?  Nothing that a man who aims for Mars could not handle. 

You would also have to put up with being called a settler,  land thief, colonialist and other complimentary stuff.  All of these are meant with respect and affection. I wouldn't worry too much. A couple of brown envelopes or black refuse bags tend to settle differences in South Africa. Many conflicts on matters of principle have been effectively resolved in this way.  Mr Liebenberg and Mr Mazzotti,  for example, apparently  gained acceptance and a reputation as fine upstanding citizens, because of their philanthropy.  Bosasa carved out a reputation as an outstanding corporate citizen, after donating cash and groceries to those in need of more.

 

I could list many more advantages. Our consistent, ethical and moral approach to foreign affairs is but one.  Our ability to turn a 350 rand a month grant into a thriving  ice cream business is another. We are working on ways to turn said grant into wine farms and factories. One could go on but I believe that the case has been made. It's a no-brainer. 

On the subject of brains, if your chip can improve government and voter decision making here, it's going to be a major success anywhere. 

Come back, Elon. All is forgiven.

Yours in the struggle for a business-friendly environment where entrepreneurs like you can flourish like the sage in Texas.

Richard 

Tips for the blogger gratefully accepted

Tymebank , South Africa  

51090259373

O Tichmann 

+27 833970723