Dear Fellow South Africans
I trust that you thoroughly enjoyed the Tintswalo story and the one about 'private hospitals good, public hospitals better'. I hope that you have stored these nuggets away for inspiration on polling day.
Here's another, that will probably top the wonderfully winsome SONA story.
Ms Sylvia Lucas of fast food fame is reported to have said that load shedding is not the end of the world. I agree Ms Lucas. That will probably be facilitated by the Middle East or China or Iran or North Korea or the US, or all of the above.
No, Miss Lucas it is probably just the end of South Africa. Let me reassure you that the fast food places will still fry on, as they probably all have generators. If I had the ability to write children's stories, I would write one called 'Tintswalo and Friends. Here's an example of what would be in the book:
' See Jane drive to KFC. See her chauffeur go in to fetch a bucket of KFC. See Jane send him back to fetch the other nine buckets. Jane is enjoying her KFC. She thinks of all the people who cannot afford KFC, or any other food. Fat tears roll down Jane's cheeks. Jane has a tender heart (not that 'tender', little ones!). She has another drumstick and feels better. Does Jane have money to pay for the KFC? Children, tell your parents to get a government credit card. Then you can have all the KFC you want. The nice people at KFC smile when they see Jane. She is a very good customer. Children ask your parents the meaning of 'customer'. It means different things in South Africa. If you go to a government department it means peasant'. Don't fret, dear children. You will soon learn what those words mean. In the next chapter, little friends, we see more of Jane and Tintswalo's other friends. Depending on how your parents, uncles and aunts vote, we may see a lot of them - a whole lot. Isn't it fun?'
In other news, Ms Lucas's colleague, Doctor Electricity, assured South Africans that it will soon be over. As it is unlikely that he was referring to load shedding, one can only assume that this statement ties in with the whole End of the World theme. Perhaps that explains why Mr Ramaphosa said that we should look on the bright side of load shedding. I think that we are being prepared for a time when load shedding will be the least of our problems. It's good of the ANC to give us these subtle warnings. Quite unsettling when you're not forewarned and the roof falls in.
Dr Electricity is a most interesting fellow. His dancing skills complement his communication skills. Indeed, it's sometimes difficult to tell which of the two he is actually doing. I seem to recall that on one day he gave three different reasons for stage six load shedding. Now I do know that it's an extremely complex business, so perhaps that understandable.
He mentioned the ramping up of planned maintenance as one of the reasons. That was just a little puzzling. Fool that I am, I thought that planned maintenance was, er, planned. I could kick myself. Just because the word 'planned' was used, it does not have to follow that any planning actually took place. After all, in South Africa, and particularly within the ANC, words have many meanings. It's a 'Nineteen Eighty-Four' and 'Alice in Wonderland' thing. 'Progress', "Justice', "integrity', 'revolutionary', even 'comrade' and many other words mean exactly what the speaker intends them to mean at a specific time.
'When I use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, 'it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less. ' 'The question is,' said Alice, 'whether you can make words mean so many different things.' (Alice in Wonderland).
The answer from our comrades in the ANC and other revolutionary parties: an emphatic 'Yebo Yes'
I am inspired. I cannot wait to cast my vote. I hope that you are equally inspired.
Yours in the struggle to dodge the end that comes "not with a bang, but with a whimper" (T.S. Eliot).
Richard
Tips for the blogger gratefully accepted
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