The Law is 'a Ass'

Dear Mr Zuma 

I am so glad that your star is on the rise - for now.

I paid rapt attention to your recent speech, which made Churchill look like a fumbling, primary school debater.

You manfully tackled the use of Roman Dutch law in South Africa. Look at what the Romans and the Dutch did in times past. Not exactly exemplary behaviour, looting, raiding. None of that ever happens here.

I find all that stuff about 'audi alterem partem' most unnecessary and irritating. Take the 'Nemo Judex in causa sua' principle.  Really! Who better to judge your cases than you yourself? Who knows you better? The commission and all that unpleasantness could have been avoided, and we would have been dwelling at ease in Eskom's pleasant light, universities, bridges,  cities and green mealies rising out of the good South African soil. If only we had jettisoned those unafrican, so-called legal principles.

It's all very petty and irritating, focusing on fraud, theft, corruption etc. All the while, serious crimes, such as teenage pregnancy, go unpunished. If I read correctly, you would banish the miscreants to Robben Island. Keeping them safely separated, I assume, to forestall any further breaches of the law.

I am delighted that you are leading the charge against immorality,  particularly of a sexual nature. Who better?  Set a thief to catch a thief. No, I am not saying you are a thief  (just a Roman Dutch proverb).  Nor am I implying that you ever wallowed in the muddy ditches  of sexually immoral shenanigans. I simply think that, in your long adventurous life, you have witnessed much of the seamy stuff. It must have grieved you profoundly. 

I understand that you are for corporal punishment.  I trust that it will be public, as a grand spectac...., I mean example. This should deter those involved in racketeering, fraud, money laundering and other forms of corruption, which I know your soul detests. Sir, have you considered stoning and similar stuff. I found some interesting and promising methods of deterrence in books on our past history. And I refer specifically to KZN. I trust that you will look into those (the methods, not the books).

You pointed out that if we were truly free, thirty years on, people would not be arrested during democracy, as they were during apartheid. I could not agree more. A friend used that very argument after being arrested for redeploying several luxury German vehicles. Where is our democratic right to piss on the rights of others? I say this Roman Dutch law is a proverbial ass. Let's stop with the arrests and allow people their democratic right to loo...., sorry live large in the quest for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness and free stuff. 

You mentioned that MK was  deliberately not given an English name like "democracy or something that we don't know".  A little confusing, as you headed a democratic government for several long years. Perhaps that explains your "I know nothing, nothing' nothing!" and "what have I done?". It might be a little bewildering to head up a democratic government while being somewhat unsure of what democracy is. You said that, in the past, the 'Spear of the Nation' was used to resolve matters. A good point. Very sharp. What was wrong with the old feudal system? People knew their place. There were no teenage pregnancies, as far as I can gather. No Hollywood style arrests

 (See The Scuffle Continues : Bollywood- Style Arrest: https://thescuffle.blogspot.com/2020/10/bollywood-style-arrest.html.)

 

Sure, there was a bit of corporal punishment  - the odd beheading. But I never ever heard of anyone protesting or carrying on.

So inspired was I by your eloquent speech, pregnant with the possibility of a return to moral rectitude and timeless values, that I sang out a few verses of "umShini Wami" (Bring me my machine gun). Okay, so there's only one verse - I sang it several times. Just by the by, if I can't make it to a golf course for some physiotherapy, I find that this song, with accompanying dance steps, does wonders for any ailments that I have (gastric, colds, chronic or terminal stuff etc.).

That speech convinced me that, in your mshini-cradling hands lie the answers to the corruption, inefficiency, incompetence, disunity and aimlessness that so bedevil our nation. And we know who the devils are. I could have sworn at one point in the speech that I heard the music of the spheres. But it might have been my neighbour playing some gqom. That and the sugar free coke that I had in the spirit of the moment.

Bring me my ballot box.

Yours in the struggle for justice and a great leap forward in this century.

Richard 

Tips for the blogger gratefully accepted 

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