Heat

 Dear Mr Cele

I may be the only person in South Africa who recognizes your genius. I see your strategy and your vision as clearly as a sunrise over Durban's Treasure Beach. (Which, I should think, you will be visiting sometime soon).

You have taken the NYPD's broken window approach to levels unimagined. You too are dealing with 'minor' crimes to discourage major crime. You are fixing the broken windows of wanton boozing, brazen beach shenanigans and so forth. Making the newly cleansed environment unattractive to criminals. I bet that anyone contemplating a heist at Camps Bay now knows to stay well away.

The movie people on the beach were an inspired choice of righteous target. Look at what goes on in the movies. Wild, abandoned boozing, smoking, violence and sex. And other things. And they have the nerve to flaunt their cameras and semi-clothed bodies on our beaches (I mean the cameramen, directors and wardrobe people). I watch movies with great reluctance, only to keep track of the depths of decadence they are willing to plumb.

Sir, I think it's an opportune time for us to meet for a fruit juice. This is not a sudden impulse. During the level 5 lockdown, I was not idle. Over a bottle of Scottish Leader that someone left on my doorstep, I analysed, weighed, measured your remarkable strategy.  I am all in. It's been alleged that, on Mr Zuma's watch, people with no qualifications or experience held high rank in the police. I, at least, have been reading crime novels since primary school. I am realistic  enough to start at the bottom  - colonel, major, that sort of thing. Nothing like having team members who are fully on board with your vision and strategy.

Yours in the struggle for crime-free beaches and cities.

Richard