Thanks, Shoprite. Home Affairs?

Dear Shoprite. 

It's rare in South Africa that a service provider actually listens to the customer. Rarer still when action is taken.

Following on our previous friendly discussion about aching knees in the pension queue, and the possible abduction of cashiers by aliens,  this morning was a pleasant surprise. You made a change to the process and it made all the difference. Queues moved quickly. Replenishing of cash at the tills was quick and seamless. Great stuff. 

See,  Home Affairs and every other government department!  It can be done. You can change processes without being struck by lightning.You will not be summoned to a Zondo Commission or something if you improve your processes. I know that you admire the Soviet bread queue model and change can be difficult. If your slogan is that the bum is mightier than the brain, that too can be adjusted.

Home Affairs made a half-hearted attempt with their online system. It worked about as effectively as a pre-loved Lada Niva. It is noteworthy that, of all the government departments, only SARS, the money collectors, have an efficient online system. No gravy, no train, as the Roman senator, Corruptus Omnibus famously said, before being  beheaded for the Roman equivalent of racketeering.  It is strange, Honourable Ones, that you would drive by these ubiquitous queues  time and time again, in your blue light convoys, and think that this is normal. Not only normal but perfectly acceptable. Perhaps even fun. Perhaps particularly for the elderly, who can play the 'how long will my knees hold out this time' game before they pass out. To most state, provincial and city departments,  I should think that you have been told before that your service is crap in any language. In the event that you haven't, here it is: your service is crap, amasimba, Scheisse, merde. For those offended by the choice of nouns: faeces.

You cannot possibly be proud of serving crap to the people of South Africa. That applies to everyone from minister to the staff at the interface. I don't know how often you have been told that you are a bloody disgrace. Well here goes once again. You are a bloody disgrace. there is unfortunately no nice, euphemistic way to put this. Your so-called service to the country sucks, stinks and is aptly described by another  s-word. Of course all of this is like trying to have a conversation with an extremely thick brick wall. 

To Shoprite, please continue the good work. We were served this morning by a brisk, cheery young woman. You might tell some of the other staff that it's ok not to move and look as if they've just come from a week's stay in a morgue.

To the state service providers, muck you.  Muck you very much. 

Yours in the struggle for respect for the customer and a little bit of bloody decency.

Richard 

Tips for the blogger gratefully accepted 

Capitec Bank, South Africa  

1378565477

O Tichmann 

+27 833970723