Twits

 "Hey, Chief. Got another one. He used the HN word."

"Let's suspend the jerk's account. Got to show 'em who's boss of free speech."

"Not sure I understand what this guy was going on about."

"Don't matter. He used the words, he used the words!"

"Yup, can't have 'em violating our good American free speech / no hate values."

"Keep 'em tame, I say. Next thing you know, they'll be telling the truth on Twitter. Maybe", Crosses himself. "Even lampooning Elon."

"Dios mio. Give him twelve hours. Should have him on his knees. Bet he appeals."

"Got the standard stuff ready. We have reviewed blah, blah, blah..."

"Yep, keep 'em honest,"

Dear Mr Musk and Twitter People 

You suspended my account for the following excerpt from a satirical post:

The Scuffle Continues @ScuffleThe @matthewellis97 @Whistlepigstew @Brettbenraphael @MzansiIndian03 "The judiciary is captured."  "Only when it's  not ruling for your master." "House negro!" "You are supposed to be anti-American but you ape them. Anyway you and your ilk are true house negroes. All you repeat is your massa's kitchen gossip...

("Damn, Bert. He's done it again!"

Sad shake of head. "Some people never learn. Take him out.")

I've seen truly vile, racist rants and even threats on Twitter, oh eagle-eyed ones. Where are you then?

Let me "break it down" for you.

1. This was not directed at anyone in particular. Yes, I should hope that the spread of buckshot did hit a few deserving targets.

2. It's an excerpt - read my lips - from a satirical post. It's a fictional exchange, but as close to the real thing on Twitter as  a tenderpreneur is to his  / her patrons with political power.

3. What's in this excerpt is what we see daily on Twitter. Have you suspended the original authors?

4. Irony of ironies: the piece lampoons the very people who spew out mindless clichès and insults on your hallowed platform.

You remind me of our apartheid era censors.

"Hey, Koos. Found something called Black Beauty by Anna Sewell."

"Jislaaik! That's the kind of communist-inspired filth that will tempt the youth of the Volk to indulge in frenzies of lust and licence....."

"Licentiousness.'

"Wat ook al. Ban it."

Stamp, stamp. 'Banned / Verban.'

"See if you can get me a copy of the video. Got to keep on top of the kind of sewage those commies are pushing out."

"Oh, and see if BOSS can find this Anna Sewell."

Ja, well, no fine.

See you on Twitter, mankers.

Yours in the struggle for horse-manure-free speech.

Richard