I used to partner with a network marketing business that offered brilliant travel deals.
The state programme has them licked, though. Travel in comfort, enjoy the finest accommodation and receive a daily allowance greater than the monthly salary of many South Africans. That's travelling in style.
I wish to sign up without delay. I meet the requirements. I am related to several Cabinet ministers through the Adam and Eve connection. I support and promote South African business, as vendors of magwinyas and other fine local cuisine will attest.
Recent riveting reports of one such state (read taxpayer) sponsored shop...sorry... diplomatic excursion reminded me of our hate - hate relationship dear SARS people. With respect. Nothing personal, as my mentor, the Don used to say - just business.
After all, you do hoover up a significant portion of my desperately hard earned remuneration. I labour for a substantial portion of the year just for you (must add that to my CV).
When I reluctantly signed up for your programme, I was ever so slightly mollified by the notion that my tax money would go to some worthy causes. I count among them housing, relief for the poor and elderly, hospitals etc.
I was glad to see that some progress was indeed made on housing, notably that quaint dwelling place among the green hills of my own home province. The one with a ritzy swimming pool and provision for domestic animals.
I already do a great deal of travelling and would like to discuss a suitable daily allowance. Those daily trips from Germiston to Fourways and back do take a toll on the well-worn wallet. I look forward to similar relief.
My own needs are quite modest. Aforementioned magwinyas, chips the odd JMPD special (streetwise two). My daily allowance would amount to a fraction of that allocated to some shopp...sorry... business emissaries.
Some of my fellow South Africans are less patient and one occasionally hears talk of a tax revolt. I am dead against the notion. Staves, pikestaffs and the guillotine have no place in our gentler, kinder democracy. Even if one of you volunteers for the 'it is a far far better thing that I do' role.
We are reasonable, civilized people, to quote Don Vito, and I, for one, would welcome a discussion over a cup of rooibos. I am keen to see what you can put on (and I can take off) the proverbial table. Should you not respond in good faith, I shall demand that you point me to the unsubscribe link on your website. I shall withdraw from the programme with dignity. No hard feelings (or hard cash).
I look forward to a prompt, business-like response.
Yours in the no - taxation - without - meaningful - representation movement.
Richard
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