I have tumbled onto your secret.
My informants, who are as numerous as EFF ground forces, have revealed the following.
In a catacomb - like vault, in a remote location, lies The Book Of Taxi. Upon this book are sworn blood oaths, while the Laws Of Taxi are recited. Some of the principal laws are:
You shall yield to no man or woman upon road or highway.
When pedestrians scurry across the road, you shall bear down upon them to within an inch. The purpose is twofold:
1. To confirm who the kings of the road are.
2. To hone your skills to the razor sharpness demanded of the brotherhood of Taxi.
Passengers are the scum of the earth. You shall tolerate them but never accommodate them. You shall respond to questions with grunts and monosyllabic utterances. Any driver transgressing this sacred law shall be banished to Uber and forever shunned by The Brotherhood Of Taxi.
You shall, however, communicate freely with other drivers on the roads. The traditional greetings 'fuseki' and 'msu...we...a' may be liberally used. This is in alignment with our brand as 'the courteous ones'.
You shall never reveal the location of the secret bank where all change is deposited at midnight. Rebellious passengers must be taught to tender the exact fare.
All Taxis are 4 by 4 vehicles and may boldly go where none has been before. That includes Captain Kirk.
Hooters are a means of communication and are to be vigorously used at every conceivable opportunity. Traffic gridlock qualifies as a prime opportunity.
Despite anything that Toyota may say to the contrary, the purpose of brakes is to squeeze the last ounce of resistance (and other substances) out of stubborn passengers. These shall be used at every opportunity. Should no opportunity present itself, you shall create one.
I trust that my reliable informants will unearth more nuggets in due course.
Yours in the struggle for mastery of the highways.
Richard
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