Dear Santa
Word on the street is that our president is sorely in need of a pair of big, brass balls - for his Christmas tree. Thought I'd get that request in early.
I notice that your popularity has waned in South Africa over the years. You are, after all, a white male with a penchant for undocumented forays into sovereign African states. On the positive side, your travels leave no carbon footprint. Reindeer dung is biodegradable and probably makes excellent fertiliser. You also come bearing free gifts, unlike the pre-election T-shirts and braais that carry a high, hidden cost.
I'd like our cabinet ministers and politicians to be of good cheer during the season of peace and goodwill. When they sneeze, or pass gas, well, you know what happens to the whole country. Hence my feverish, online search for the perfect gift.
The Le Humaine range of fragrances is the gift for the politician who has everything else. Please bring a plentiful supply of each of these fragrances:
Humilitè: Beautifully understated, subtle fragrance with the quality of a fresh breeze.
Le sens commun: No cloying, flowery notes here. A clean, honest fragrance that one either loves or hates.
La compètence: A strong, pleasing fragrance, just a small bottle of which lasts more than 27 years.
La compassion: A deceptively gentle fragrance that lingers on for a surprisingly long time.
We are desperately in need of something clean, fresh and lasting. Elsewhere, the answer may be blowing in the wind. Here, it's more than a hint of decay and decomposition.
Yours in the struggle for peace and goodwill.
Richard
Tips for the blogger gratefully accepted
Capitec Bank, South Africa
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O Tichmann
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