Dear Mr Cele
I have been waiting hungrily for the nuggets of wisdom that you are wont to dispense so generously.
With this wonderfully succinct summary of the law, my Christmas cheer is complete:
“The law says nobody moves, nobody drinks, nobody gets drunk after midnight."
I am reminded of the biblical quote: "On this hangs all the law..."
Sir, this puts me in a somewhat awkward position. I have been tucking into Christmas pudding and fruit cake, rich with an infusion of fine brandy. The turkey stuffing also has some interesting ingredients. And of course, there's a liberal helping of vin in the coq au vin. I must confess to feeling pleasantly mellow already. And there's still the margarita tarts and brandy jelly to follow.
Sir, i have great respect for the spirit and the letter of the law. Far be it from me to toy with technicalities, as some renowned South Africans do. I could argue, though, that I am eating, rather than drinking, my way to alchoholic nirvana. I believe I comply.
The problem solves itself anyway. I expect to be comatose come midnight. This is a step beyond drunk and I'm sure that Mr Mpofu could make a rock-solid case. The prohibition on movement, apart from twitches and grunts, is also complied with.
Yours in the struggle against irresponsible alcohol consumption.
Richard
Tips for the blogger gratefully accepted
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