The Book Of Jacob

 Dear Mr Zuma

I have always felt a close kinship with you. (Well, since a few years after I was born). 

This is, in part, because we are both sons of the fertile, black, KZN, banana-and-maize-  bearing soil. (And beans). I now feel a solid cementing of that kinship. We have both, with mighty labours and the acute  pangs of childbirth, given life to books on our favourite theme: the life and times of one Jacob Gedleyihlekisa Zuma.

My book, 'Dear Mr Zuma', is, of course, a tribute to you (what else?). Your achievements have been downplayed, probably with malice aforethought by the spies mentioned below and their cunning WMC / Stellenbosch handlers. I wish that I could, like Mr Yeats, write them out in a verse. 

As that English chap wrote:

The evil that men do lives after them,

The good is oft interred with their bones.

Here, then, for posterity, is some of the good:

Many words have been coined to describe our politicians. Which politician can lay claim, though, to having coined a new word? In the heat of parliamentary battle, you plucked out of your bosom the melifluous 'meandos'. Creativity in full flow.

You ably demonstrated to us that numbers (like the gruesome practice of cat-skinning) can be used in many ways. Is not creativity far more important than mindlessly parroting our math teachers? I, for one, am grateful, as I try this innovative approach with SARS and creditors. 

Your fire pool is a seamless marriage of the best of engineering and innovative design thought. Why have two systems when one can work as well? One can both swim and put out fires. Not simultaneously, of course. No, hang on...

You made your mark in geopolitics. Colonial map drawers had us fooled about the true size of the African continent. Until you took measurements. And also showed us that No River Runs Through It.

Your subtle humour and infectious laugh saw us through many difficult times. I can't remember now, what caused the difficulties. My analyst calls it a PTSASD (Post Traumatic South African Stress Disorder) coping mechanism. I think it was also on your watch that the laws on marijuana were relaxed. This probably helped some South Africans get through, and probably laugh through, said difficult times. In the tough world of political comedy, even Trump couldn't hold a candle to you. Then again, he had electricity.

The story that some unqualified people had senior police posts during your tenure merely illustrates how serious you were about opportunity for all (Or is it some? Bit confused here). Anyway, who hasn't played cops and robbers as a child? That's some preparation, isn't it? Is not play the mother to work skills?

 Sir, I am sure that your book is packed with adventure, homespun wisdom, humour and dark tales of treachery in high places. Who can forget your cryptic references to legions and battalions of spies, during your too-brief Zondo Commission appearance?

 A  fleeting glimpse into a shadowy world, upon which, I'm sure your book will turn the fierce, unrelenting glare of discovery. 

One can hardly wait to read what, I am confident, will be South Africa's answer to War and Peace.

Yours in the struggle with the written word.

Richard  

Tips for the blogger gratefully accepted 

Capitec Bank, South Africa  

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