The Sun Also Rises

 Dear Daily Sun

The time has come, as the walrus famously declared, to acknowledge your contribution to the work of the free press in South Africa. 

While other publications focus on the tangible and the obvious, you have crawled into the dark, bubbling underbelly of life in the beloved country. You have experienced and faithfully recorded each foul eruption as it burps forth successive tales, each stranger than the one before.  Truly, Bill, there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in our philosophy. Tokoloshes, zombies and others one dare not mention in polite company (yours, dear reader).

Anyone can report on corruption and the like. It takes nerves of steel and the instincts of a champion bloodhound to stay on the track of the terrifying creatures that go eish in the night. We salute you. Were it not for you, we would be blissfully unaware and unprepared. As it is, my bed stands on extra-large bricks. I have an armoury filled with garlic, salt and other weapons of ghoul destruction. Unlike the ANC and the so -sudden tsunami of corruption, I  will not be caught unprepared.

Where I once faithfully read The Star and The Sunday Times for news, I now refer to them only for the TV guide. For real news, 'Die son sien alles'. En nog wat. After all, what could be more of a 'clear and present danger' than the spectre of  the undead roaming the land, seeking unsuspecting prey? Aided and abetted, no doubt, by the vertically challenged ones. 

Where are the Hawks when we need them? And our intelligence agencies? Surely they could mount an undercover operation. Some of them should have no problems posing as zombies. With their skills and training, I mean.

Thank you for the fresh perspective on what really matters in South Africa.

One must also commend you on your muscular use of language. "Kwaito Star Moers Neighbour' has an earthy eloquence. Beats the hell out of "Musician Assaults Neighbour". You go for the cro..., er, jugular. Rock on

Yours in the pursuit of great stories (ANC has the franchise on good stories).

Richard