Flying, Finance And Fatcakes

Dear Ms Kwinana 

 I am in a quandary. 

I had Mr Zuma down as a sure thing for the South African Chutzpah Awards. For his Spies, Lies And DVDs performance at the commission. Then you came along, as the crooner sang. 

 Your straight - faced delivery of some of the funniest lines of the decade was a triumph. The shtick about terms and conditions vs contract still renders me helpless with laughter each time I remember it. Why, oh why, didn't I have this much fun drawing up all those damned employment contracts in HR? 

 You have shattered the myth that accountants have no sense of humour. I really like your 'what-the-heck' approach to the otherwise deadly dull legal stuff. Reminds me of the Marx Brothers movie where a contract is torn up piece by piece in response to 'do we really need this clause?' Did you guys ever do that? Your performance was so comically surreal that I felt like the writer of these lines:

 'Oh, I have slipped the surly bonds of earth 

And danced the skies on laughter - silvered wings..' 

 Wouldn't this perhaps describe your lighthearted, innovative approach to the whole national carrier thing? People can be so dour. Nothing wrong with a bit of fun and inspiration. 

 Just for the hell of it, could you sign a contract for me? I'll fill in the insignificant details once you've signed the terms and conditions. A sort of 'just like old times' exercise. I can also see that it's quite easy to forget having signed the odd billion rand contract. One signs so many things these days. And there's so much going on. Elections in US and Ivory Coast, Hollywood and Bollywood style arrests in South Africa, DA conference, Stormers defeat....Is it any wonder that the little things may slip through cracks? 

 To those unkind folk who cast aspersions on your fitness as a chartered accountant, I say: 'Can you reduce the mysteries of high finance to a simple fatcake analogy?' Being partial to fatcakes myself, I found it most appropriate and enlightening. You clearly have your feet firmly planted on the ground - or hands firmly planted in the dough. 

 Yours in the love of flying, finance and fatcakes. 

 Richard