The Candidate

 Dear Fellow South Africans 

Like Ms Sisulu, I had a somewhat long overdue awakening. 

I dreamed that we were dining at my favourite restaurant, The Humble Pie. We had just concluded an animated exchange about apologies and retractions.  Being concerned about the poor, and aware of my strivings as a struggling,  would-be writer, Ms Sisulu was giving generous advice on the temptations and pitfalls of plagiarism.

Just then, a savage ray of Durban sunshine dissipated my dream but I awoke to the realization that I am in the wrong business (wishful thinking and idle speculation). "I coulda been a contender", I muttered as I struggled from the depths of sleep.

My natural home, I now realise, is in South African politics. That dream confirmed what the universe (or at least the solar system) has been whispering to me all along. Please support my candidacy for the following reasons.

At college drama classes, I was told that I was a dancer of no mean potential. One important box ticked. My acting, I was told, was a little overwrought. A definite advantage on the SA political stage. I've also been told, at various karaoke bars, that I can carry the odd tune. I wish that I had paid more heed to the school counsellor who said that I was a little politician.

No stranger to the grittier side, I have been escorted out of several rugby stadiums. All, of course, in the cause of ethical, responsible protest. I will not tolerate questionable referee decisions against the home town side. It's called integrity. I think that you begin to see the culture fit. I can disrupt council or parliamentary sessions with the best of them.

Nothing if not proactive, I have already penned several carefully thought out attacks on colonial clerks (and indeed, clerks in general), as well as apologies and retractions. (Just in case...). I did make use of plagiarism-tracking software. I am ready to enter the fray. 

Yours in the struggle to serve.

Richard

Tips for the blogger gratefully accepted 

Capitec Bank, South Africa  

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