The Humour Of Gwede Mantashe

 Dear Mr Mantashe 

It just pours out of your mouth, doesn't it - the wisdom, I mean.

'ANC chairperson Gwede Mantashe said on Friday he was opposed to the prosecution of leaders of the ruling party implicated in the Zondo commission..... Mantashe said the report should rather be used to review ANC mistakes and rebuild the organization.' (Mail & Guardian).

Unfortunately, there are some minor problems with this proposal, which would otherwise have been as brilliant as the January midday sun in Durban.

 A friend, convicted of redeploying several cars, used the very argument to no avail, just before his sentencing. I suppose, taken to its logical conclusion, it could empty the gaols of murderers, rapists and the like. And fill the cemeteries and hospitals.

In the twenty-seven years of your party's glorious rule, we've seen little appetite for reviewing, renewing or rebuilding - anything. A little-publicized scientific discovery in Wentworth, Durban, revealed that an absence of skaam cells in the body makes such renewal impossible. We've seen promotions, deployments and redeployments, instead of dismissals. In less developed societies, disgraced officials tend to keep a low profile. But we are a society free of the evils of discrimination. No stigmas here. Proud to be South African.

The composition of your integrity commission (richest of ironies) is a joke that only the ANC missed. 

I quote again:

"What do you think the ANC is, Father Christmas? I don't know where this notion comes from that we are a collection of individuals who have conscience. We are members of ANC in a party political system." (Your words)

'Wise words, sir. Proven true. The absence of conscience, collective or otherwise, has been amply demonstrated through the years' (My words)

Sir, to give any serious thought to your proposal, even for a nanosecond, would require a childlike faith that:

Pigs are perfectly capable of flight

Leopards can have a makeover

Wolves can, with a little persuasion, convert to a vegan diet

I can only conclude that your famous sense of humour was in play and that your rather clever joke has been misunderstood.

Yours in the struggle for fresh humour.

Richard

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