Wenzeni uZuma?

 Dear Mr Zuma

Just this morning I awoke from restless sleep, muttering "Wenzeni uZuma?" (What has Zuma done?).

I'm hoping that the newly released Zondo Commission report will help me answer that question. I was alarmed and dismayed when 'The President's Keepers', 'Enemy Of The People' and books in similar vein landed in the bookstores. Fortunately, you explained that those were novels. Wonderful imagination, that Pauw chap. And the other authors.

I am currently immersed in the SAA portion of the report. It sounds as if business and governance were much more fun on your watch. I was enthralled by the account of the Jet Airways meeting. The report finds it odd that the minister would wait for two hours for the Jet Airways person, then sit silently, while that person behaved inappropriately toward his staff member. Easily explained:

1. Part of the humble, man-of-the-people approach, brilliantly modelled by your august self.

2. Mr Gigaba was probably simmering, fuming and also a little pissed off. He wisely chose not to speak. As he could not trust himself. Until he had calmed down. By which time, the meeting was over. Had he been blessed with your musical talent, he would quite probably have called, in song, for his machine gun.

You will have noticed, sir, that I am already poking holes in the report. I intend to continue, intermittently diving into your book for inspiration. 

A rather large number of people testified at the commission hearings. The pages of transcribed oral evidence and the documentary evidence run to numbers that I would not trouble you with, sir. Adept though you are in reading the stories that the numbers tell. Nevertheless, sir, those of us who prize loyalty will continue to support you. Though Birnam wood be come to Dunsinane.

Just a couple of points before I return to scrutinizing the report.

I don't know whether you listed the illuminati and George Soros among the forces of evil arrayed against you. If not, now would be a good time.

 I do hope that your second book will be coming to a car boot near me anytime soon. I'd like to offer you a signed copy of my own book, 'Dear Mr Zuma'; fulsome in praise, staunch in defence. Unfortunately, I do have to charge (It's January), but just a fraction of the R1000 you were asking. Say, three quarters.

Yours in the struggle for justice, truth and a buck or two.

Richard 

Tips for the blogger gratefully accepted 

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