No Use Crying Over Spilled Beans, Comrades

In Durban, rampant crime continues, with a CIT - Chow in Transit - heist. 

This from a tweet:

"Tonight a delivery driver in Durban was robbed of his pizza at gun point...." 

The president and I are shocked. Incidentally, Mr President,  thanks to you, I understand at last Hamlet's reference to the 'thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to'. You've had them all, haven't you sir? If only Miss Gray, my old English teacher, were still around.

Mr Cele is apparently preoccupied with a different food challenge. He has invited Mr Zuma to go ahead and spill the beans he has been hugging to his bosom these many years. And threatens to spill at intervals. He is not the only comrade who has threatened to scatter the beans abroad.

You comrades do realize that this makes you accessories after the fart..., sorry, fact, don't you? Even Mr Ramaphosa reportedly  spoke of sooner falling on his mkhonto than revealing the dark deeds of various patriots. The smallanyana skeletons may not be so smallanyana after all.  Fine example, gentlemen and ladies. It may explain in part why we have become such a lawless people that even a thin crust in transit is not safe. 

One can imagine the poor delivery guy trying to hand over his cellphone, only to be nudged in the ribs with a gun barrel.

"We want the pizza, now".

Were these the most unsuccessful villains in the country, to sink so low as to steal a pizza at gunpoint? Was it the topping that tempted them beyond endurance? 

A great advertising opportunity for the smart pizza person:

"Pizza to die for!"

After downing my R6000 booze allowance at a KZN Arts and Culture function, last year, I wrote this:

'Two South African businessmen walk gingerly down a steaming, hot Durban sidewalk in their Calvin Klein undies.

"They got you too, Mark", says one, briefcase arm dangling uselessly'.....

(https://thescuffle.blogspot.com/2023/02/the-clothes-off-our-backs.html)

When I'd, er, rested, I cringed at how silly and fanciful it was. Well, not so silly or fanciful after all. 

Mr Cele, Mr Ramaphosa and comrades: while you squabble over beans and which came first, the ANC or the Mkhonto, brazen criminals are snatching the takeaways out of our mouths. 

How shithole does a country have to be to have food in transit heists carried out by armed villains?

Gentlemen, please pack for polling season.

You have outlived your uselessness for far too long.

Tips for the blogger gratefully accepted

Tymebank , South Africa  

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O Tichmann 

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