Electrifying

 Dear Minister of Electricity 

I wondered why we have had less loadshedding lately. You know how one looks back with nostalgia to starlit nights, cold food, the  ethereal beauty of stalactites from dripping candle wax.     

Just days into the job, you cracked the code, solved the riddle, cut the Eskom Gordhan knot, pardon, Gordian knot. 

Consistent energy availability will ultimately lead to the end of loadshedding 

An epiphany to beat all epiphanies. A Daniel brought to Eskom. It is as if the intellects  of Edison, Einstein,  Archimedes and Newton all fused in one electrifying moment. We will never be the same.

This followed the Sherlock Holmes-like observation that technology, not corruption is the root of all evil at Eskom. You are hitting them out of the park, sir.

It is entirely possible that Mr de Ruyter was seeing and hearing things.  What with  cyanide or sinusitis problems (I'm a bit confused as to which it was - both? Apparently our finest were onto a sinusitis theory). I  did experience some disorientation when I had severe sinusitis.  During a conversation about the great power utility,  someone said: 

 "We must stamp out corruption completely."

I heard it as:

"Someone must eat."

These things happen.

It is not inconceivable that  journalists, on the trail of Eskom crime cartels, actually mistook  technicians out on the town for villains - a  classic confusion of technology with corruption. After all, how many of us can tell at a glance,  or after an investigation, the difference between  technicians and cartel villains? Particularly in the Eskom  - inspired gloom.   I've often mistaken honourable members of parliament for thugs. These things also happen. 

Jealous folk commented that you were   stating the blindingly obvious.  Genius is so often unappreciated. A prophet is not without honour,  except in his own portfolio.   Is it not typical of the genius mind to be able to pinpoint the overlooked, the taken for granted; to parcel it in a deceptively simple  scientific statement?  I used to wonder why we were taught that a+b=a+b. What the hell else could it equal? Now I am older and wiser. And still don't understand what the hell that was about.

Such is the Zen-like quality of genius and wisdom. A calm,  clear pond, out of whose seemingly  tranquil  depths the gloriously  hued koi rise suddenly and unexpectedly, scaring the shivambu out of one.

I bet the wires are buzzing right now in places as distant as Moscow and Washington.

"Comrade Ivan, drop whatever you are doing and take this message."

"Da comrade."

Sound of a vodka bottle crashing to the floor.

"Alert Comrade Vladimir's secretary.  He will want to be woken for this news."

"What is it comrade?  Is Trump defecting?"

"Bigger.  A South African comrade has discovered that consistent energy availability will ultimately lead to the end  of loadshedding."

"Jumping matryoshkas! This is bigger than Comrade Igor's invention of the lightbulb."

In a CIA building disguised as a Pizza hut,  the Russian voices come through with crystal clarity on the Sony tape.

 An agent stops his pizza slice halfway to his mouth.

"You hear that Bill?"

"Yeah, commie BS. It was Edison."

"No, you klutz. The bit about consistent energy supply."

"Jumpin' Jehosaphat! Better get the president onto this ASAP.  You know how grumpy he gets when he's woken, but this affects national security."

 

"I'm  on it buddy. Pass me a slice of that pepperoni, will ya."

And so once more, as in the days of Chris Barnard South Africa shocks and shakes the world. In Barnard's day, not least because,  according to some posts on social media, the heart transplant stitching was actually done by a gardener.  It would not surprise us to learn that the anaesthetic was administered by a sangoma. That's how we roll down here. When we're not rocking....

Back to Eskom and the Power of One. The most appropriate response to a revelation that has implications for energy management centuries hence, (barring the odd global nuclear conflict),  is:

 'Eish'.

Yours in the struggle for deceptively simple solutions to complex problems and the ability to see beyond corruption to the hot, throbbing heart of the issues.

Richard

Tips for the blogger gratefully accepted 

Capitec Bank, South Africa  

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O Tichmann 

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