I have taken to denying that I am South African.
Our politics and our reasoning are embarrassingly bizarre.
The language and gymnastics of George Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-Four live large in our country. Together with some bland socialist biltong.
Our own Ministry of Plenty grasped a glorious photo opportunity recently. Gasp! Two kettles and two stoves donated to a community.. Smiling faces and smart suits around the glittering gifts. Viva ANC! Shall we dance from new dawn to new dusk?
A gentleman appears in court for alleged looting conducted from his smart Mercedes. Hats off to him for bringing style and panache to the grubby business of looting. He is being prosecuted / persecuted because he is a black man with a smart car, opines a knowledgeable Twitteratus. I hope that the comment was satirical. If not, that's a stupidity as terminal as the illnesses that got some fine gentlemen released from state custody, in recent times.
We have the politics of pedigree. If you once wore camouflage uniforms and fired AK47s into the air, It follows that you can govern. This is regardless of
how complete a rejected dog's breakfast you have made of it to date,
On the other hand, clean, safe, functioning cities are just racist sleight of hand. And that party can't dance. To the whataboutists who might wonder how much the DA and others are paying me: buggerall, but you're welcome to contribute, account details below.
We have the politics of promises, pirouettes, capering and scrotum squeezing. We are the party of the people (who meet specific melanin and border fence crawling skills criteria). You can see it by the overalls we wear over our Calvin Kleins and Breitling watches. What have we contributed? Lots and lots of marches, entertaining threats, insults and speeches. Oh, and grand promises. What's more, we are the only party with banking expertise.
Man, I don't care if a green monkey from Mars becomes our next president, just as long as it leads us out of this pit toilet with commonsense, competence and compassion. And is properly documented.
If your heart's desire is to entrust your children's future to gibbering / thieving / incompetent buffoons, why, that is your democratic right. I cannot, for the life of me imagine why. But then, what do I know, not having fired an AK into the air or experienced the silken caress of Calvins and coveralls.
Tips for the blogger gratefully accepted
Capitec Bank, South Africa
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O Tichmann
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Beautifully written, and savagely true.
ReplyDeleteThank you
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