A Worthy South African Cause

Dear Readers (South Africa, Outer Mongolia etc.) 

 'Struggling Author Auctions Liver' This is my last resort.

 But before that, if you buy my Kindle books,  (Dear Mr Zuma, Dear Mr Malema, Dear Fellow South Africans and South Africa: Stranger Than Fiction) , I faithfully promise to do the following:

 Rescue South African Airways.

 Donate to Charity, my neighbour.

 Open a savings account with VBS Bank, to encourage loot..sorry,,,,long-term survival of BBBEE banking (whatever that may be).

 Start a line of non-discriminatory hair products. 

 Sponsor commercial flights to enable ANC teams to confirm that there is no crisis in Zimbabwe (just your common or garden chaos). 

 Pay the IMF and BRICS debts. 

 Buy drinks at the Saxonworld Shebeen for all purchasers (proof of purchase, residence and existence required). 

 Sponsor Elon Musk's next space project, on condition that he takes out a one page advert in all major newspapers, announcing that he is South African.

 Replace redeployed PRASA infrastructure.

 For the peace of mind of Mr Cele (Minister of Police) and Dr NDZ (Minister of Something), promote the following: 

Authentic tasting alcohol-free booze and sanitizer 

 Authentic tasting marijuana-free zol cigarettes.

 And, wait for it, a grand prize for the 999999th buyer. Yes, cooking lessons with Tito Mboweni (smell the garlic). 

 A worthy cause. 

 Yours in the scuffle. 

 Richard