Flying Without Wings

Flying Without Wings

Monday, September 11th, 2017

Dear Mr Manyi

The brand new Kerry Packer / Lord Beaverbrook of South Africa - bravo! I feel empowered, inspired, energised, just reading about your coup. I hope that historians are taking note. What with ANN7 and The New Age already having carved out reputations as the fearless Batman and Robin of investigative journalism and news reporting, we anticipate the scaling of magnificent new media business heights.

 I am sure that you have already cracked the leaked E mails and state capture sagas. Can’t wait to catch your next newscast. I know that you are a man of bold vision and unafraid to speak your mind. Your unique idea of doing a sort of South African tower of Babel exercise with Cape Town’s ‘Coloured’ people proved that. Of course, I’m sure you meant the same for all the other under- and over- represented areas. Taken to its logical conclusion, we could perhaps have even moved some of our people into Lesotho and Liechtenstein. A sort of Lebensraum initiative that could have made you as famous and popular as that chap with the half-done moustache.

Add to your own sterling qualities, the great training and experience you must have had disseminating truth with the fearlessness and impartiality typical of a state information and communication person in South Africa, and we have the stuff of legend. I imagine that in future, busloads of tourists, cruising past your residence, will sing out the immortal phrase, ‘Show me the Manyi’

You have given the cause of empowerment in South Africa a tremendous shot in the butt. Do you think we might get in on the other businesses your associates might wish to shed in this sudden rush of public- spiritedness? Much as I like milk, I would avoid the dairy, as I read an accusation somewhere that Transnet was being milked instead of the dairy herd. The recruitment agency would be right up my alley. Having had extensive interviewing experience, I would have no trouble with any devious candidates for ministerial posts. You can be sure that, apart from proper reference checking and verification, candidates would undergo rigorous interviews. The use of the ‘angazi’ word would immediately disqualify any applicant as we already have too many angazi - proficient public servants.
For your assurance, an example of a typical scenario to test candidate’s intelligence and integrity would be:

A secret vote of no confidence in your leader is about to take place. Do you:

a. Call in sick
b Vote according to your conscience (if you have one)
c. Vote according to someone else’s conscience
d. Emigrate
E. All of the above
As you can see, this business would fit me like a beret on an EFF member of parliament. Please do set up a meeting at the Saxonworld watering hole. Ginger beers are on me.

The fact that you tapdanced into the media mogul role sans a faded ten rand note is most encouraging. I have long espoused this particular business empowerment model. Of course, I trust that you now possess the sort of share portfolio that befits a man in your position.

Incidentally, I was pleased to read that you had the staff laughing at your first meeting. Great to have a leader with a sense of humour. There was also a rumour that Hlaudi will be joining ANN7. Good news, as he will keep any footage of riotous behaviour off the news. I find the violence quite unsettling and would much rather relax with a Tarantino classic such as ‘Reservoir Dogs’ or one of the ‘Kill Bill’ movies.

Both you and Ms Myeni of SAA bring to mind one of my favourite tunes, Flying Without Wings.

Yours in the pursuit of wingless flight.

Richard