One Day

One Day

Tuesday, January 7th, 2020

Dear Lotto Guys

I thought it fair to inform you that I plan, intend and am firmly resolved to sue. You, of course, among others.

I think that your methods, practices and standard operational procedures border on the unethical. Perhaps, like illegal Mexican or Zimbabwean immigrants, even traverse that invisible boundary. One would have thought that there should be some reward for persistence, loyalty and effort. Instead, you constantly change the goalposts, deliberately thwarting my efforts. I have supported you since the age of twelve, when I used documents artistically created by a friend to prove that I was older than I looked (knowing, of course, what suspicion and wickedness lurks in the heart of man). The most I have ever won was R50. This cannot be right, fair, ethical or even vaguely within the law of averages. As the Germans say: ‘Zuviel ist zuviel.’

I am not paranoid, as my analyst, Dr von Schollenhofen von Eltern Unter den Tannenbaumen, will readily teatify. Obsessive-compulsive, yes. I am convinced that you change your combinations each time simply to sidestep my own updated, logically constructed combinations. To those who consider such an assertion ludicrous, I refer you to the following bizarre events in the beloved land and elsewhere. Our former president was allegedly targeted by more spies than have cavorted on the silver screen since Hollywood’s inception. Various ‘novelists’ have concocted the most ludicrous tales of the supposed adventures of this quite probably innocent, naive man. The Democrats in the US, in a show of monstrous disloyalty, are trying to impeach that honest bricklayer. I could go on. Suffice it to ask, then, how far-fetched it would be for a sinister cartel to plot against honest citizens merely doing their humble best to achieve the modest goal of being fabulously wealthy.

I have records of every draw stretching back to 1979, as well as of my own entries. I intend to call mathematicians (including a former president), astrologers, sangomas and other learned persons as expert witnesses. I should think that, by now, wishing to avoid scandal, thoughts of an out - of- court settlement have crossed; or at least, caressed your minds. I am a reasonable, rational man as must be evident from the tone and content of this courteous missive. I will certainly entertain any offers tentatively, or boldly, approaching the sixteen million mark. I am willing to overlook that you have hindered my altruistic goal to provide gainful employment to folk working on luxury cruise liners and in five star hotels. Let bygones be bygones. Just show me the filthy lucre. Call me magnanimous.

Yours in the struggle for honest, ethical, profitable gaming.

Richard