Saturday 13 June 2020

The Long Goodbye

The Long Goodbye


Tuesday, November 21st, 2017

Dear Uncle Bob


I was deeply moved at the sight of those large crowds rejoicing at your long awaited shuffle into peaceful retirement. A newspaper headline very rudely blurted ‘Voertsek’. Gratuitous vulgarity. I wish journalists would not stoop to using gutter language. ‘Sod Off!’ would have been far more acceptable.


Time and chance, the Good Book says, comes to all. You certainly had your chance and it seems your time is up, not so? One of your great achievements has been the clever way in which you encouraged the spreading of Zimbabwean skills to all corners of the earth. Inevitably, many may want to now return to be near you in your time of retirement. The affection and esteem in which you are held has surely grown with each unique leadership intervention. I particularly like your cows for cash initiative. Still struggling to picture how the bank queues worked but you certainly put the stock back into stock markets. There is no question that you transformed Zimbabwe. Whenever I think of you, Great Zimbabwe comes to mind - called the Zimbabwe Ruins by ignorant colonialists.


It’s a pity that Grace won’t get to ascend the podium. With her skills with the power cable, no-one could doubt her ability to wield power. And your (former?) party would have had no need of a chief whip. It does seem you will have to settle for games of monopoly and DVD evenings. Game Of Thrones might be right up your alley. Yes Minister and Yes Prime Minister will never grow old. But then again, the humour is quintessentially British. Sorry, perhaps a bad idea.


Understandably, you are reluctant to retire as there is still so much to plunde…, sorry, achieve. When you retire to our country, as so many interesting people do, I hope to discuss your unusual perspective on leadership and transformation over some coffee (and perhaps a pipe of good Zimbabwean tobacco - do you still grow it?). As our own leadership seem to have taken their cue from you, it would be educational to hear from the maestro himself.


I look forward to seeing you in Sandton (just a cable length away).


Yours in the long shuffle to retirement.


Richard

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