Our Thing

Our Thing

Wednesday, January 15th, 2020

Dear Stellenbosch Mafia

You have been much in the news lately. A ‘novel’ (in the elegant phrasing of Mr Zuma) has even been written about you. I read some snippets and will complete my research once I have acquired a copy that one of the bookshops might leave carelessly lying around. I certainly like the idea of having Our Thing right here in South Africa. Onse Ding has a more solid, sonorous ring than Cosa Nostra.

I am keenly interested in membership of the club.
I understand that you kicked off as a kind of early model of the modern BBBEE initiative. Accepting my application would bring you into the new decade. You could gain invaluable mileage from being the first elite club in South Africa to welcome on board an ordinary Joe, with no financial prospects - a group also much discriminated against and historically disadvantaged. I am willing to be an ambassador for the organization. I am not without experience, as I once carried out some assignments for a similarly named organization in Europe. I have no issues with swearing blood oaths or whatever rituals may be necessary.

My Afrikaans is tolerable and I am currently brushing up by engaging patrons of Brian’s Bar, in Germiston, in stimulating exchanges on global finance, among others. Having read the poetry of Adam Small and S V Petersen, I have some insight into the culture.

Sirs, the old order changeth, yielding to the new. I offer my services as a catalyst. One story has it that at least one of you already has a close relationship with at least one prominent member of a progressive party. I am at pains not to let slip any clues to the identity of those scarlet - clad crusaders for justice and equity. My membership would beautifully round off your initiatives in diversity and inclusiveness.

I do understand that you are not that kind of mafia. Nevertheless, should you need the exercise of unusual talents, I am at your disposal. I also do that. Disposal.

I shall miss the scenic Germiston environs. The winelands might offer some small compensations.
Please do forward me the relevant application forms.

Yours in the struggle to preserve tradition while striding boldly forth to the future.

Richard