Bank Shot

2018

Dear VBS Bank

You are my kind of bank. I've long been seeking a bank with an open-handed, unselfish approach to sharing of product.

You do still have money, don't you? I won't be needing as much as some who reportedly benefited from your generosity. Just a fraction - say three quarters. I'm quite happy to join any political party if that's a requirement - even COPE ( they are still around, aren't they?). I do also have relatives who are members of various parties I'm even willing to start a party if necessary (never was a slouch at partying). Many companies give product samples and it's most encouraging to see you step out of the old rigid banking paradigm into the Brave New World of Commerce.

I am not seeking a handout. Of course, if a handout boosts your BBBEE scores, then who am I to stand in the way of radical economic transformation - or any other transformation? I am willing to be, as others were, a middleman in introducing your services to some heavy hitters. My neighbours, Lawrence  and  Koos,  are top-scoring batsmen for our local cricket team.

After making some purchases to meet basic needs, I would invest the balance in a savings account at your bank. No Lamborghinis or helicopters for me. I am content with a basic Mercedes sports car. Perhaps a week or two in a lower-end five-star establishment in Dubai. I hope that my frugal, thrifty approach meets with  your approval. These are difficult times after all. Even the 'don't drink and drive' slogan has become redundant. Who the Dickens can afford both? Apart from some of your stakeholders, that is.

With both Black Friday and Christmas almost upon us the time is opportune (I read that one of your middle people 'asked for a Christmas'). Like Barkis, I am  willing. I trust that our partnership will be as fruitful as the orchards of that province where you seem to have done your best work.

Yours in the persistent pursuit of radical economic transformation.

Richard