With the current focus on the twin evils of smoking and drinking, I must have missed something. When did drinking and urinating in public become legal in South Africa? I do understand that one tends to follow the other. Still, surely there ought to be some limits on where one may exercise these new rights. If that's what they are.
One morning, a fellow had several ladies choking on their breakfast magwinyas. He casually emptied his bladder outside a popular cafe. Were it not for my skills with the Heimlich manoeuvre, who knows what lurid headlines might have greeted us the next morning. 'Death Slash' and the like.
That very afternoon, our taxi driver stopped near a park, leapt out and marked one of the trees. It was probably the stressful dash from Forways to town. And the encounters with the JMPD.
Topping the day's bizarre sequence of events was an incident in Primrose. As I strolled through its tranquil streets on my way home, a fellow stepped out of his yard and urinated on the pavement. At that, in the words of Mr Pound, I was mildly abashed. Was there a queue in his house? Did the sight of my burly figure looming out of the East Rand fog loosen his bladder? Clearly, to pee or not to pee is no longer the question.
As I said to my neighbour Lawrence (sharing a Black Label and a joint on our street corner), miss one night of TV news and you are Rip van Winkle. I appeal to you ministers to please give us sufficient notice of changes to the laws. I'd hate to make a citizen's arrest on some bloke sniffing cocaine in Hassan's cafe, only to find that it became legal the pevious night.
Yours in the struggle to maintain law and order.
Richard
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