Just Cause

Dear Fellow South Africans

For many years now I've been trying to find ways to make additional income. To keep my creditors, if not happy, at least slightly mollified.

Scammers and dreamers abounded.  Network marketers, to the strains of Simply The Best, waxed lyrical about passive income. Months later, I discovered what passive income really meant. A dodo would have been frenetically active by comparison.

I considered alternative business activities but mugging and related disciplines require skills and equipment I don't have. Also an absence of that inconvenient thing called conscience. Mine's elastic but not sufficiently so. I considered an online appeal for research funds. Atypical transient global amnesia wreaks havoc among our politicians and those attending various commissions of inquiry. Alas, people are inordinately suspicious and would cry 'scam'. Can't understand this prevalence of cynicism in our country.

Then a solution hit me like a snotklap from a colourfully clad MP.  Lawsuits are trending. R500 000 seems to be the going rate. I think we could push that brown envelope closer to the magical million mark. I think the EFF's legal fund might be a little light.  Mr Zuma and the public protector may be in a similar situation. But the president. Now there's a war chest if stories are to be believed. One must be strategic. That's what got me where I am.

I should think any legal eagle worth his or her iodized salt should be able to dig something up over a weekend. Is it not for such an hour that such deliciously broad concepts as 'mental anguish' and 'loss of opportunity' were created? Dear fellow  South Africans, I am seeking  pro deo (or preferably pro mio) counsel. Rather urgently. We can discuss administrative fees upon successful conclusion.

Yours in the struggle for comp..., er, justice.

Richard