Like our noted philosopher, Dr Ace (honorary doctorate in philosophy from Turkish university with unpronounceable name - Dr Ace, not me), I contemplated life’s mysteries as I waited in the tranquil surrounds of Johannesburg’s Park Station.
Which came first: the chicken - hearted politicians or the egg on our national face ? What are the origins of the expression ‘Rapio ergo sum - I loot therefore I am’? If a once-thriving African economy falls and no-one sees it fall, did it really fall? Did anyone ever bring Mr Zuma’s mshini?
Which came first: the chicken - hearted politicians or the egg on our national face ? What are the origins of the expression ‘Rapio ergo sum - I loot therefore I am’? If a once-thriving African economy falls and no-one sees it fall, did it really fall? Did anyone ever bring Mr Zuma’s mshini?
These and other fundamental life questions rattled around my head as I patiently awaited my visitors bussing it from Durban. Time and distance are viewed slightly differently in South Africa. If a bus company says that the Durban bus will arrive in Johannesburg at 17H00, that means any time from 17H00 to 00H00. It could also mean precisely 17H00 but on any day other than the designated one. On this occasion, it was not entirely the fault of the bus company - just largely. The bus had been stopped at a weighbridge and the driver fined for overload. Now any bus company with an ounce of sense would know that people leave Durban heavier than when they arrived. It’s the bunny chows.
Luggage was transferred to another bus but no, said the weighbridge guru, it’s the passengers. I could have told them that. Some passengers were then transferred to another bus and then things turned bizarre. ‘I want them back,’ said the weighbridge person, as their new bus rapidly disappeared in the vast Gauteng spaces. Whatever for? To hold as court exhibits? To lecture on the importance of moderation when consuming bunnies? I had no idea that taking prisoners was part of a weighbridge person’s duties. I can see them at tea:
Luggage was transferred to another bus but no, said the weighbridge guru, it’s the passengers. I could have told them that. Some passengers were then transferred to another bus and then things turned bizarre. ‘I want them back,’ said the weighbridge person, as their new bus rapidly disappeared in the vast Gauteng spaces. Whatever for? To hold as court exhibits? To lecture on the importance of moderation when consuming bunnies? I had no idea that taking prisoners was part of a weighbridge person’s duties. I can see them at tea:
”How many did you get today?”
“Forty off the Penguin bus.”
”Want to throw them a biscuit?”
”Nah, let them suffer. That’ll teach them.”
“Forty off the Penguin bus.”
”Want to throw them a biscuit?”
”Nah, let them suffer. That’ll teach them.”
‘Just now’ in South Africa can mean anything from the next five minutes to a day. Fortunately, ‘now now’ is more precise - anything from the next five minutes to the next hour. An ANC promise could be meant for this lifetime or the next (time is on their side, according to the prophecy by Jayzed). Distances receive the same generous treatment. In Johannesburg, I’ve been told that a place is within walking distance but not that it’s two days of walking. Five minutes for an Uber taxi has the kind of elasticity that allows it to stretch to half an hour - if you’re lucky.
I do have to go and will return just now to continue this conversation - I promised a friend in inKandla that I would call him now now.
Tips for the blogger gratefully accepted
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